Wednesday, September 30, 2009

An Argument in Favor of Dying Alone

(1) You'll never have to go through or risk the hassle of a messy divorce
(2) One night stands and strip club nights whenever and with whoever you want, with no feelings of guilt or remorse.
(3) You're never going to have any kids which means no changing diapers, no middle school and high school drama, and never having to shell out TONS of money on weddings, or staying up late on weekend nights wondering what kind of stupid shit your kid(s) are doing?
(4) No nagging, no "food channel sundays" and getting to live in peace until the day that you die. You will NOT end up like Frank Barone.
(5) You will always have me to hang out with, while all the rest of your "couply friends" are off doing their vomit inducing couple things. Ouch hanging out with me might actually be an argument against dying alone, so lets just say hanging out with your cool single friends.

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