Just the top 3 for today, with many more to come.
(1) Women ALWAYS win! Guys, the sooner you accept this fact, the happier you will be. Just accept it, don't try to fight it, and spend the rest of your days, drinking beer, watching sports, and pretending to listen to what women have to say.
(2) Single, Engaged, Married, the status does not matter, Paul Michael Smith is teh Ghey! You have Heather, her family, and the rest of the free world fooled sir, but you certainly don't have me fooled! Actually I think Mrs. Owen might know, I know you are reading this, and you would win Parent of the Year points if you called Paul out on this, particularly at an opportune and hilarious time. Remember timing is everything, store this one away for the perfect time, and you will have the whole table/room on the floor laughing.
(3) Reading this blog every day, is 10X better than eating fucking leaves, exercising, and going to the gym combined. Laughter is the best medicine, and that is what I strive for every day, and trust me, writing this insane shit makes me laugh, and is probably adding 10 years onto the back end of my life. Ha Paul, now you have to live 11 more years if you want that $1,000.