Paul Michael Smith, you have been one of my best friends for the past 10 years, and yea we are both unbelievable fuckheads, and it really makes no sense that we are friends, (really that either of us could be friends with anybody), but despite all that bullshit, you are still my brother, and I love you man. When I was in the hospital fucking on my death bed, you were there to cheer me up; when I was a miserable fucking wreck in college, you were there, and for that you are my friend and brother for life! I am so fucking happy that you have found your perfect woman in Heather who:
(1) loves baseball especially the Angels, even though she does have occasional, yet still inexcusable lapses during which she is "over baseball".
(2) loves New York Giants football...while we're on that point, I'm calling a 38-35 GMen victory tomorrow, with Fitzy going off for 200 yards and 3 TD's. Hey I really need the Giants D to do bad and Fitzgerald to blow up if I'm going to beat Eric who has Tom Brady against the Bucs tomorrow.
(3) Puts up with you, your bullshit, and your ra tardedness, and your ra tard friends, especially yours truly.
(4) Most importantly, loves you for who you are, and will love you for the rest of your life. That is the greatest thing, and the greatest gift in the world, and I wish you two a lifetime of happiness together.