Wednesday, December 9, 2009

If I Die (By Reader Request)

One of my readers, forgot who, and I wouldn't say anyways as requests will always be handled anonymously unless you specify otherwise asked for this, so here you go. No I'm not suicidal, and I'm not dying, although the fact that my scar is bleeding like crazy has me kind of worried, but just felt like posting this just in case.

- $1,000 USD shall be transferred from either by Poker Stars account or savings account, whichever is easier to Paul Smith for winning our life last longer bet.

- My organs (lol at anybody actually wanting my organs) shall be given to whoever the fuck needs them. I'm dead for Christ's sake, might as well give someone a second chance as I've been given many times thanks to the miracles of modern medicine.

- My remains shall be cremated, with my ashes spread throughout Dodger Stadium so I can be there forever.

- NO FUNERAL! In lieu of a funeral, you are all to have a massive game of baseball, followed by an insane crazy drinking party. Don't fucking cry, I'm already dead and there's nothing you can do about it. Just have fun, and BE FREE People! Ryan: you are assigned bartender duties b/c I know you'll do a kickass job, and Big Juan, you sir are the "Pacer". Everybody must keep up with you, which if you're on your game= everyone is really gonna have a good time. Beer, scotch, whiskey, girly fruity drinks, I don't care what you drink, but all male attendees MUST follow all drinking related man laws.

- To the readers of this blog, I leave you my baseball card collection (3 full boxes). I know I have some old autographed cards from players like Berra, Stargell, etc. that I won in some contest when I was little, so there should be some value there + any hidden gems in my collection. Divide the money equally amongst yourselves, and you know what, SPEND IT ALL IN ONE PLACE! Take that vacation you've always dreamt of, or buy that new "fill in the blank".

- In lieu of flowers, gifts, or whatever the fuck the proper funeral protocol is, make donations to Presbyterian Intercommunity Hospital, because without them I'd have died 3.5 years ago, and this blog would never have existed.

- MOST IMPORTANTLY, Let me leave you with these words: Live and Love Life! Life's too short to be worried about petty bullshit. Tell the people you love that you love them, and don't be afraid to look like an idiot sometimes. With that being said, I LOVE YOU ALL! Each one of you has had an amazing impact on my life, and I hope this post is a moot point, and that we all share another 50+ years of super awesome times together.

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