- Sandwiches: easy and quick to make; usually nutritious (although not the way I make them), flexible, as you can put whatever the fuck you want in and on them, and most importantly delicious. A poker player's best friend.
- Driving with the windows down AND the heater on. You should try it sometime, it's just all kinds of super awesome
- Hot Lesbians: Because even though it means no guy is gonna get to hit it, it's still Two Chicks together. This is the one exception to my rule that public displays of affection are gross and unacceptable. Lesbians, or really any two attractive or semi-attractive females: feel free to make out in public whenever you damn well feel like it. If the morality police try to give you shit, let me know, and I'll make sure that they leave you alone.
- Poker Stars' synchronized breaks. So badly needed, and perfect to take care of your restroom and food needs
- The song "Independent" by Weebie
- "Somewhere in My Memory" one of the theme songs from Home Alone.
- Anybody who got this far without rolling their eyes, saying eww gross, or going WTF is this idiot talking about?!
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