Monday, January 4, 2010

In My Lifetime I Have Had

- 3 Open-Heart Surgeries
- A life-threatening splenectomy resulting in two separate week long hospitalizations
- Insane crazy, horrific nightmares every single night
- Been in a pretty bad car accident with a maniacal driver
- Had more blood tests, immunizations, and other shots than I can possibly count
- A couple minor procedures go very astray (ex: needle got stuck in my heart)

NONE of that scares me. What does scare me: WOMEN!

In a hospital, what's the worst thing that can happen, you die? They'll do their best to make it as painless an experience as possible, and you've got super hawt nurses tending to your every need, which imo is NOT a bad way to go out. Women on the other hand, will tear into your soul, use everything that you say and do against you, twist your words and actions around for their own benefit, team up against you, attack you like a bunch of wild pitbulls, and generally destroy your will to live. Your demise will be a very slow, and VERY VERY VERY painful one.

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