(1) Strip Club
(2) Cougar Bar
(3) "The Ashton Kutcher": Get drunk and text every single chick in my phone until one of them agrees to have sex with me.
(4) Buy Fake Engagement Ring ---> Go to bar, wait for hawt chick to approach break out the ring and start sobbing uncontrollably ---> when she asks what's up say "she said no" or "she cheated on me" or something like that.
(5) Take some 5 year old vicodin. Wash it down with some 25 year old scotch and drunkbook/blog the results.