- you get confused when it is after midnight, you are awake and don't reek of cigarettes, booze, or strippers
- you "take a break" from one vice because you're too busy indulging in another one. ex) You haven't gone to a strip club in a week because you've been blackout drunk the whole time
- at anytime in your life you carried $1,000+ on you ALL THE TIME just "because something might come up"
- you are a member of pocketfives.com
- you count time by the last time you engaged in degenerate activities. ex) when asked what day it is: "umm lets see i've been playing poker for 40 hours so today must be wednesday"
- for the majority of your waking hours, it is dark outside. exception: you live in alaska, russia, or one of those other fucked up places.
- you find yourself frequently agreeing and nodding along while reading the moderator's stories and opinions
- a videotape of all the moments of your life that you "can't remember" would be longer than a yankees-red sox playoff game
- you have ever been playing poker at hawaiian gardens between the hours of 3am-7am, and were not up at least a couple hundred dollars
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