For always being there for me, and having the right thing to say when I needed someone to talk to.
- Ryan Dow
- Ahron Valverde
- Hillary Gollenberg
- Heather Smith and her lol ugly wife Paul
- All of my "moms" that read this blog
On this, one of my saddest days in a long time, just talking/texting to you all, and knowing that you all are stable rocks in my life makes me feel better. I love each and every one of you and could not imagine my life without you.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Why TV and the Movies are Dead Wrong!
- I'm not trying to knock relationships/marriage in any way, but Television and Marriage has distorted our image on love and life from an early life, and continues to try and distort said image throughout our lives.
- The fact of the matter is that these idyllic love stories, and magical happy endings are the exception and not the norm.
- 99.99% of the time the geek does not get the girl, in fact that the geek doesn't even come close to getting the girl. If the girl even gives this piece of shit loser the time of day, it's only to use him, or build her self-esteem so she can move onto someone else. Memo to Losers: Just Fucking Give Up! Stop wasting your time on chicks who could care less about you, and embrace your loser status rather than being ashamed of it. Enjoy your freedom, and become the "weird old guy at strip clubs".
- Put it this way, by becoming that weird old guy, you are not only setting yourself free, and never going to get your heart crushed again, but when your peers are 60 and still with the same woman who's also 60, you will be hooking up with a bunch of hawt random 20 something women. Sounds like a solid fucking win to me!
- The fact of the matter is that these idyllic love stories, and magical happy endings are the exception and not the norm.
- 99.99% of the time the geek does not get the girl, in fact that the geek doesn't even come close to getting the girl. If the girl even gives this piece of shit loser the time of day, it's only to use him, or build her self-esteem so she can move onto someone else. Memo to Losers: Just Fucking Give Up! Stop wasting your time on chicks who could care less about you, and embrace your loser status rather than being ashamed of it. Enjoy your freedom, and become the "weird old guy at strip clubs".
- Put it this way, by becoming that weird old guy, you are not only setting yourself free, and never going to get your heart crushed again, but when your peers are 60 and still with the same woman who's also 60, you will be hooking up with a bunch of hawt random 20 something women. Sounds like a solid fucking win to me!
Top 10 Reasons
Why The Moderator is Going to Die Alone
(1) I am Ugly as Fuck
(2) I am Ridiculously Unattractive
(3) Even when I dress up, and do everything I can to look good, I still look like shit.
(4) I'm a fucking degen (my fault on this one)
(5) I have no fucking idea how to talk to women. I mean I try, I really really do try and learn from my mistakes, but always manage to fuck it up.
(6) I'm too picky and too selective with women.
(7) Chicks tend not to like guys who are: Asian, 5 feet fucking tall, undersized, and are fucking weird.
(8) Being the "nice guy" and the "funny guy" is all fun and games, and will make me plenty of female friends, but never a girl friend. Being a pretentious douche really isn't me, and I refuse to change who I am just to make a girl happy.
(9) In case you have never met me, I am ugly as fuck!
(10) For anyone who has read my screenplay, I deserve to. I met and fell for the most amazing chick ever, we have a great year together, but my scared little self never told her how I felt. Regrets FTL!
(1) I am Ugly as Fuck
(2) I am Ridiculously Unattractive
(3) Even when I dress up, and do everything I can to look good, I still look like shit.
(4) I'm a fucking degen (my fault on this one)
(5) I have no fucking idea how to talk to women. I mean I try, I really really do try and learn from my mistakes, but always manage to fuck it up.
(6) I'm too picky and too selective with women.
(7) Chicks tend not to like guys who are: Asian, 5 feet fucking tall, undersized, and are fucking weird.
(8) Being the "nice guy" and the "funny guy" is all fun and games, and will make me plenty of female friends, but never a girl friend. Being a pretentious douche really isn't me, and I refuse to change who I am just to make a girl happy.
(9) In case you have never met me, I am ugly as fuck!
(10) For anyone who has read my screenplay, I deserve to. I met and fell for the most amazing chick ever, we have a great year together, but my scared little self never told her how I felt. Regrets FTL!
LOL Dodgers!
- Fuck you to our Morally and Financially Bankrupt Owners
- Fuck you to our overrated General Manager for pissing off our franchise player, all but ensuring that he will be in pinstripes for the 2012 season. Sigh I will vomit when that inevitability occurs.
- LOL our starting pitching. Kershaw sure isn't developing into the ace that we so desperately need for him to become. He's got A+ stuff, but just doesn't trust it. Confidence kid, that's what it's all about!
- LOL our bullpen outside of Broxton!
Still Ethier is the fucking man! Triple Crown FTW!
- Fuck you to our overrated General Manager for pissing off our franchise player, all but ensuring that he will be in pinstripes for the 2012 season. Sigh I will vomit when that inevitability occurs.
- LOL our starting pitching. Kershaw sure isn't developing into the ace that we so desperately need for him to become. He's got A+ stuff, but just doesn't trust it. Confidence kid, that's what it's all about!
- LOL our bullpen outside of Broxton!
Still Ethier is the fucking man! Triple Crown FTW!
Drinko De Mayo
Happy Drinko De Mayo or Cinco de Drinko or Cinco de Cryo whatever the fuck you want to call it. I'm pretty fucking miserable in every possible way right now, so heavy consumption of alcohol in the next 3-5 hours is almost sure to ensue. Hope drunk blogging is as good as it was in the past, and that I haven't lost my touch.
The Return of the Moderator
Well after an extended absence, I am officially back! Took some time off to make a pursuit at true happiness, but LOL at that; obviously wasn't in the cards. Thank you all for your patience during this time, and I will try and make it up to you with hilarity and super awesomeness in the weeks to follow.
I guess I owe you all the full story of why I was absent for so long
- There was this chick that was as close to as perfect for me as I could possibly imagine (hawt, dodgers fan, ridiculously random, loves all my jokes, etc. you get the point)
- We have a lot in common, and she exhibited many signs of being interested in me, at least in terms of flirtation and body language
- I was so hung up on her, that I literally couldn't function correctly, and developed many teh ghey habits (listening to chick music, pining over her, feeling all lovey dovey etc.)
- After many attempts, it is now painfully clear that she is not into me, and that for whatever reason she was just either being nice or playing me. It really doesn't matter at this point. I feel like such a fucking assclown, am really hurt and heartbroken (GFY if you're making fun at me for this point), and just confused.
- I'm not mad at, and do not blame said chick. She's a solid 9, and let's face it I'm like a 3 or maybe a 4 on a good day, so it's not like I ever really deserved a chance. This isn't the movies, hawt girls don't end up with guys like me no matter how "nice" they are. Deep down I always knew that this was going to end badly, but I guess I just tried to see past all the bad, in the desperate hope that a miracle would happen.
Well, at this point, I'm pretty much at the point where I just want to give up on finding that ever elusive "the one". I just don't know what to do or think at this point, but at least I have great friends (you all) to help me get through this. Love you all, and hope to keep you forever entertained.
I guess I owe you all the full story of why I was absent for so long
- There was this chick that was as close to as perfect for me as I could possibly imagine (hawt, dodgers fan, ridiculously random, loves all my jokes, etc. you get the point)
- We have a lot in common, and she exhibited many signs of being interested in me, at least in terms of flirtation and body language
- I was so hung up on her, that I literally couldn't function correctly, and developed many teh ghey habits (listening to chick music, pining over her, feeling all lovey dovey etc.)
- After many attempts, it is now painfully clear that she is not into me, and that for whatever reason she was just either being nice or playing me. It really doesn't matter at this point. I feel like such a fucking assclown, am really hurt and heartbroken (GFY if you're making fun at me for this point), and just confused.
- I'm not mad at, and do not blame said chick. She's a solid 9, and let's face it I'm like a 3 or maybe a 4 on a good day, so it's not like I ever really deserved a chance. This isn't the movies, hawt girls don't end up with guys like me no matter how "nice" they are. Deep down I always knew that this was going to end badly, but I guess I just tried to see past all the bad, in the desperate hope that a miracle would happen.
Well, at this point, I'm pretty much at the point where I just want to give up on finding that ever elusive "the one". I just don't know what to do or think at this point, but at least I have great friends (you all) to help me get through this. Love you all, and hope to keep you forever entertained.
First Draft on My Screenplay
is completed. Need major assistance, if you would like to read it, please shoot me your email address, and I will make sure to ship it to you. Need all the help that I can get, so any and all assistance would be greatly appreciated. Be forewarned, that it's pretty chick flickish with a baseball motif of course.
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