- I find it not at all ironic that my favorite part of the chicken is the breast meat
- Real Boobs > Fake Boobs
- My clock says 1234. I guess I must declare a thumb war. PS: my right thumb won
- I am currently both hot and cold.
- My body still has not recovered from the weekend
- Believe it or not my current BAC is 0.00
- My back hurts
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
The One Instance in Which It's Okay to Get LOL Married
If and ONLY if she meets all of the following conditions
(1) She is the hottest non-married female that you know.
(2) You were her first.
(3) She has an unrepairable medical condition by which she MUST have sex at least once a day, and she can only have sex with the first person she had sex with.
(1) She is the hottest non-married female that you know.
(2) You were her first.
(3) She has an unrepairable medical condition by which she MUST have sex at least once a day, and she can only have sex with the first person she had sex with.
10 Reasons Why Men Should Never Get Married
(1) 50% of marriages end in divorce
(2) And those are the lucky ones
(3) If you live in a hippy faggot state like California you are going to get one of two types of divorce court judges
- an angry man-hating woman who would like nothing better than to rape your soul and give her everything
- a pussy-whipped shemale who is so afraid of what his wife might do to him that he has to destroy you
(4) "Better With You" has taught us that staying in a relationship but not married is "a valid life choice"
(5) Pretty much every man in my family is either unhappily married, divorced, or so whipped that he doesn't feel the pain anymore.
(6) The sex will steadily decrease year after year, just watch. She says that it won't but it will. I mean once you get married, what incentive does she have to ever put out for you? What are you going to do? Get divorced and say arrivederci bank account.
(7) Once you get married, the next step is kids. If I have to explain more, clearly you are deaf and don't value sleep and peace and quiet.
(8) You still will need to watch porn all the time, only now it will be a lot more difficult to get away with it.
(9) LOL at you ever getting to just hang out with the guys anymore.
(10) Because it's ONE WOMAN for the rest of your life! No one-nighters, no strippers, no hookers, nothing but her! So if you do, she better be fucking perfect.
(2) And those are the lucky ones
(3) If you live in a hippy faggot state like California you are going to get one of two types of divorce court judges
- an angry man-hating woman who would like nothing better than to rape your soul and give her everything
- a pussy-whipped shemale who is so afraid of what his wife might do to him that he has to destroy you
(4) "Better With You" has taught us that staying in a relationship but not married is "a valid life choice"
(5) Pretty much every man in my family is either unhappily married, divorced, or so whipped that he doesn't feel the pain anymore.
(6) The sex will steadily decrease year after year, just watch. She says that it won't but it will. I mean once you get married, what incentive does she have to ever put out for you? What are you going to do? Get divorced and say arrivederci bank account.
(7) Once you get married, the next step is kids. If I have to explain more, clearly you are deaf and don't value sleep and peace and quiet.
(8) You still will need to watch porn all the time, only now it will be a lot more difficult to get away with it.
(9) LOL at you ever getting to just hang out with the guys anymore.
(10) Because it's ONE WOMAN for the rest of your life! No one-nighters, no strippers, no hookers, nothing but her! So if you do, she better be fucking perfect.
Military and First Responders Appreciation Thread!!!
It doesn't have to be Memorial Day or the 4th of July to show appreciation to all the men and women past, present, and future who have served our country and communities so thanklessly. These people get shot at every day and are rewarded by I'm just gonna say CUNT Liberal Pussy Faggots who hate on our soldiers as murderers and cry for the law-breaking criminals who wouldn't hesistate to steal from, rape, or murder them or their families, while decrying the police officers that thanklessly serve our communities every day and put up with shit that most of us can't even imagine.
Cliffs Notes
- Soldiers and First Responders= awesome
- Liberal Pussies= should be shipped off to Afghanistan or San Quentin and spend time with the "innoncent and good people" that they are always crying for
- Terrorists, Rapists, and Murderers= Get AIDS and Die Please
Cliffs Notes
- Soldiers and First Responders= awesome
- Liberal Pussies= should be shipped off to Afghanistan or San Quentin and spend time with the "innoncent and good people" that they are always crying for
- Terrorists, Rapists, and Murderers= Get AIDS and Die Please
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
My Thoughs and Prayers
Go out to Bryan Stow, the Giants fan who was savagely beaten on Opening Night by a couple of piece of shit "bunts" who happened to be wearing Dodger gear. I wish Bryan a speedy recovery and hope that the perepetrators are found and curbstomped to death. Even that wouldn't be enough of a punishment in my book, they deserve to suffer more.
The Moderator's Abbreviations/Sayings/Quotes/Etc.
- "You're a FUCKING PUSSY"= what I say to someone who is throwing up due to excess consumption of alcohol
- "hawt"= mine and OT's spelling of "hot" when referring to females
- OT= Pocket Fives Off Topic...check it out for realz
- Africa Hot= it's hotter than a mother fucker outside
- "bunt"= the C word
- "WOMAN!"= see a few posts below
- "Get AIDS and Die"= I don't like you
- "You can Go Fuck Yourself"= what I generally say to guys when I'm drunk
- "Hey Baby What's Up?"= what I generally say to chicks when I'm drunk
- Tits, Baseball, Football, Scotch, Food, Beer= what I care about in that order
- "hawt"= mine and OT's spelling of "hot" when referring to females
- OT= Pocket Fives Off Topic...check it out for realz
- Africa Hot= it's hotter than a mother fucker outside
- "bunt"= the C word
- "WOMAN!"= see a few posts below
- "Get AIDS and Die"= I don't like you
- "You can Go Fuck Yourself"= what I generally say to guys when I'm drunk
- "Hey Baby What's Up?"= what I generally say to chicks when I'm drunk
- Tits, Baseball, Football, Scotch, Food, Beer= what I care about in that order
Tons of Updates
- As you can see I'm making some changes around here to sort of jazz up the blog. You can now follow my blog or see updates via email if you fill out the email thing below.
- Also answer my poll question to let me know what you want to see more of.
- Let me know what you think about the changes in the comments section. Still working out some kinks and trying to get a better template (will take and and all suggestions). Also looking to possibly sell out and let people put ads in the sidebars (hell if im gonna blog and people are gonna read it i might as well get some extra strip club money for it). You in turn get more entertaining drunk and strip club posts. EVERYBODY WINS!
- Also answer my poll question to let me know what you want to see more of.
- Let me know what you think about the changes in the comments section. Still working out some kinks and trying to get a better template (will take and and all suggestions). Also looking to possibly sell out and let people put ads in the sidebars (hell if im gonna blog and people are gonna read it i might as well get some extra strip club money for it). You in turn get more entertaining drunk and strip club posts. EVERYBODY WINS!
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