The Perfect Woman For Me (cont.)

- Loves driving with the windows down
- Is not weight conscious
- Is a fist bump master
- Is not a bombshell hottie. Seriously, we all know that if I every settle down with someone, she's going to be a 6 or a 7.
- Has a first name that starts with the letter "O", because combined with Heather and Hillary, they would be H20, and that would be like the coolest fucking thing ever.
- Speaking of those two women, my perfect woman has to get along with, and meet the approval of those two women, because if you can't get along with Woman and Woman, then who can you get along with? Plus I trust their judgment, as lets face it, they really are always right.
- Most importantly, and I think this goes for all relationships, she has to be my best friend. The person who I can and want to talk to about anything and everything, and I have to be able to imagine myself still madly in love with her when we're both 70, old and decrepit. To all of you who have this: congratufuckinglations (not sarcasm, just wanted to insert an F BOMB) its the greatest thing in the world, and to those of you who don't, best of luck in finding what you are looking for.