Memo to All Female Readers

You have all expressed to me mild-high levels of concerns over this weekend's bachelor party (with good reason to, I know that I'm not exactly the posterchild for morality) as well as the physical/financial/social well-being of all its participants. This post is designed to alleviate all such concerns; nobody is going to die, nobody is going to end up in jail, and most importantly none of us will have any contact whatsoever with any member of the female gender. We're going to take the 5 year old's approach to girls, in that they all have cooties, and should be avoided at all costs. Just to show how serious I am, and only because I love you all, I am going to violate Man Law, by giving you a play-by-play itinerary of the entire weekend. Please note, that minor adjustments may be made at the discretion of myself or Ryan.

Friday Night:

- 6:30 plane lands in Vegas
- 7:00 arrive at Planet Hollywood, get settled
- 7:10 go to the nearest vending machine, and clean them out of Diet Cokes
- 7:20-11:00 discuss our feelings while drinking our virgin scotch and sodas
- 11:00 go to bed

Saturday:

- 8:00 wake up and have a delightful little brunch at the nearest cafe
- 9:00-12:00 Spa/Massage treatment w/no happy ending
- 12:00-1:00 lunch at Pink's, unless a certain member of the party has been 86ed
- 1:00-6:00 gambling and living it up at the penny slot machines...who knows, we might even move up to the nickel slots if we're feeling really adventurous?
- 6:00-7:00 a nice dinner at a TBD restaurant
- 7:00-10:00...so fucking excited, just booked the last set of tickets available to go see "Mamma Mia"
- 10:00 drop Paul off at a teh ghey bar, while the rest of us call it a night, as we are gonna have a long drive ahead of us the next day

Sunday:

- Wake up, have breakfast, maybe watch the Hockey Game if the US is in it, and then head back to So Cal and our lovely mothers, and significant others.