"Drunkapotamus"

So my friend Heather one day started calling me "Marcapotamus" for some reason.  I don't know the reason, I have pressed her about it, and she refuses to tell me.  Eventually, on account of my frequent drunkenness, this name became "drunkapotamus".  If you want to know what the fuck this means, ask her, because I have tried like crazy and she won't fucking tell me.  WOMEN!!!

Random Remembrances From AshCab and Ryan's Birthdays

Friday

- Jameson Rocks...Jager Shots....Jameson Rocks...Hitting on chicks...Pissing outside our limo...Hitting on chicks...A lot of fog
- Buying literally everybody in our party at least one drink at some point in the night
- Getting handcuffed by the fake police for "being served alcohol while intoxicated".  Well we're at a fucking bar what the fuck do you expect me to be?!
- Giving a breathalyzer and the standard DUI bullshit even though i wasn't fucking driving, i swear the popo just hate on me yo
- Getting back to Ryan and Hillary's house, and being around a bunch of chicks and then taking my clothes off because of the chicks said something i can't remember what

Saturday

- A very long and unfun hangover
- An unfun debriefing full of ryan and rick being cunts and telling everybody and their mother about my "arrest". 
- Making the awesome discovery that i had spent over $200 the night before.  What joy!

Random Remembrances From Palm Springs

Friday Night

- Taking like 8 million shots of that cinnamon shit
- Maybe going to the pool but to be honest I can't remember
- Talking shit to the rest of the guys trying to get them to do shots with me

Saturday

- Beers and shots on the golf course
- More drinks at the pool including buying like a $15 glass of crown royal
- More wine/shots/beers/whatever the fuck at the room
- Going out with Eric and AshCab
- TEQUILA SHOTS!!!!
- Mucho scotch
- There being 3 bachelorette parties there and talking to one of said parties for a long period of time
- Blacking out from there

Sunday

- Being hungover until 10pm.  It was fucking awesome

Random Remembrances From My Birthday

My Actual Birthday

- Hitting the longest drive of my life (304 yards).  Yea I only made par on the hole- go fuck yourself.
- Drinking some beers, and having a couple shots
- STRIPPERS!  Errors were committed...i don't want to talk about it

The Saturday of my Birthday

- Eric bought me a shot.  Ashley bought me a shot.  Paige bought me a shot.  Rando buys me a shot.  Eric and Ashley buy me a fishbowl.  Total darkness ensues.  I could have had sex with Kate Upton and not know it.  Wake up on Sam Dow's couch disoriented as fuck and walk home.  Pass by a church, and my drunk ass self looks at a group of churchgoers who give me a look of haughty derision.

Thank you to everybody who attended either or both of these events, it means a lot to me.