Tuesday, October 18, 2011
A Salute to Our Military
It doesn't have to be Memorial Day or the 4th of July for The Daily Musings of marc1313 to be appreciative of the brave men and women past and present who serve the greatest country in the world. I salute you and thank you all for your services, including my brother Paul Smith who is currently in Afghanistan. Stay save brother and get back to the States soon. King Taco and a 24 pack of Dogfish Beer await you.
How to Repel Women
Do you have a crazy stalker who won't leave you alone? Is that fat chick in class/the cubicle next to you keep giving you the look and you want to let her down easy? LOL married and don't know how to get rid of the mistress before she fucks up your life?
Whatever your situation, the moderator has some fool proof ways to ensure that they will ignore you/never talk to you again/run away.
- Pull a Ted Mosby (tell them that you love them on the 1st date). If she reciprocates, excuse yourself, run home, grab your passport, and flee to the country least likely to be her country of ancestry, and never return to the country you love.
- Send her a drunken text saying that "your love is my drug"
- Send her a drunken facebook message saying that you might be drunk but that she is smoking hawt and that you think the two of you have great chemistry and should go out sometime.
- Tell her you want her to meet your best friend. Hire marc1313 to be said best friend. Within 30 minutes, I'll have her running for the door.
- Tell her that you have a strip club addiction, and that you have frequently engaged in amorous activities with said strippers
- Take dancing lessons from marc1313 and put them on full display
- Be a needy emo pathetic mess/be her bitch
Whatever your situation, the moderator has some fool proof ways to ensure that they will ignore you/never talk to you again/run away.
- Pull a Ted Mosby (tell them that you love them on the 1st date). If she reciprocates, excuse yourself, run home, grab your passport, and flee to the country least likely to be her country of ancestry, and never return to the country you love.
- Send her a drunken text saying that "your love is my drug"
- Send her a drunken facebook message saying that you might be drunk but that she is smoking hawt and that you think the two of you have great chemistry and should go out sometime.
- Tell her you want her to meet your best friend. Hire marc1313 to be said best friend. Within 30 minutes, I'll have her running for the door.
- Tell her that you have a strip club addiction, and that you have frequently engaged in amorous activities with said strippers
- Take dancing lessons from marc1313 and put them on full display
- Be a needy emo pathetic mess/be her bitch
Saturday, October 15, 2011
marc1313's Favorite Things
- Cougars
- Pizza Bagels
- Finding an awesome addition to my Grooveshark
- Porn with some production value
- Beating the Dirty Hippies
- Popcorn
- "Drive" the movie
- Tequila shots
- People quoting my blog
- Seeing that my blog has picked up new followers
- Annoying those with "Woman" status with repetitive questions and/or asking them about their hawt friends
- My gel foam whatever the fuck it's called mattress.
- Having 3 mother fucking pillows
- Filling a red cup with ice, and then trying to decide what to fill it with, only to always fill it with some canadian/irish/scotch whiskey
- Pizza Bagels
- Finding an awesome addition to my Grooveshark
- Porn with some production value
- Beating the Dirty Hippies
- Popcorn
- "Drive" the movie
- Tequila shots
- People quoting my blog
- Seeing that my blog has picked up new followers
- Annoying those with "Woman" status with repetitive questions and/or asking them about their hawt friends
- My gel foam whatever the fuck it's called mattress.
- Having 3 mother fucking pillows
- Filling a red cup with ice, and then trying to decide what to fill it with, only to always fill it with some canadian/irish/scotch whiskey
My Three Greatest...
Stripper Experiences have ALL come from a mature, experienced woman. As has been stated, analyzed, and discussed on MANY occasions here at the Daily Musings, here is the breakdown by stripper age:
18-23: Haven't gone this young in a long time, but used to a lot when I was in this age range, and: These chicks are working their way through college and/or don't see stripping as their long-term solution. That's fine, nothing wrong with that, and I support their decision to choose this very noble profession. But that 100% does NOT translate into a good experience. They NEVER deliver high quality service, and more often than not mail it in when giving dances. I used to make a lot of mistakes with them back in the day, but I have grown wise. No matter how hawt, AVOID AVOID AVOID!
24-35: Some are in for the long haul, some not, you get a mixed bag here. I would say about 25% deliver either A+ service or great dances, and the other 75% either don't know what they are doing, or are hawt enough that they can give terrible dances and still make a lot of money, luring in suckers who don't know any better.
35+: I don't think I've ever been disappointed by a stripper who was 35+. They are mature and experienced. They've been in the game long enough that they know what they are doing. If they've stuck around this long, they almost always really enjoy the job, and they enjoy delivering A+ service. They also have BY FAR the best attitudes of all strippers, I don't think I've ever encountered one who gave me attitude, tried to upsell me, or complained about how much I tipper her. They are grateful for the money and attention, and will shower you with their full arsenal of sexiness. I have a pretty strict rule about not doing repeat business with a stripper. I have broken this rule twice, once with a stripper about 35-40, and the other with one who is 47. Also, my best all-time stripper experience was with a stripper about aged 40. She taught me things I didn't know existed.
Cliffs Notes: Read the post below
18-23: Haven't gone this young in a long time, but used to a lot when I was in this age range, and: These chicks are working their way through college and/or don't see stripping as their long-term solution. That's fine, nothing wrong with that, and I support their decision to choose this very noble profession. But that 100% does NOT translate into a good experience. They NEVER deliver high quality service, and more often than not mail it in when giving dances. I used to make a lot of mistakes with them back in the day, but I have grown wise. No matter how hawt, AVOID AVOID AVOID!
24-35: Some are in for the long haul, some not, you get a mixed bag here. I would say about 25% deliver either A+ service or great dances, and the other 75% either don't know what they are doing, or are hawt enough that they can give terrible dances and still make a lot of money, luring in suckers who don't know any better.
35+: I don't think I've ever been disappointed by a stripper who was 35+. They are mature and experienced. They've been in the game long enough that they know what they are doing. If they've stuck around this long, they almost always really enjoy the job, and they enjoy delivering A+ service. They also have BY FAR the best attitudes of all strippers, I don't think I've ever encountered one who gave me attitude, tried to upsell me, or complained about how much I tipper her. They are grateful for the money and attention, and will shower you with their full arsenal of sexiness. I have a pretty strict rule about not doing repeat business with a stripper. I have broken this rule twice, once with a stripper about 35-40, and the other with one who is 47. Also, my best all-time stripper experience was with a stripper about aged 40. She taught me things I didn't know existed.
Cliffs Notes: Read the post below
A Confession...From Your Moderator
This summary is not available. Please
click here to view the post.
Top 5 Favorite Strip Club Songs (By Reader Request)
I am 100% opposed to the songs that one would traditionally think of when thinking strip club songs, ones with over-the-top explicit lyrics or "Pour some sugar on me" for example. I don't like direct causal links, I just like a good tune, or some indirect dirty meanings.
- The song that Selma Hayek strip teases to in "From Dusk Till Dawn". Too lazy to look it up, but some chick stripped to it the other night and it was OMG SOOOO HAWT!
- "The Way I Are"
- "Sexy Back"
- "Cyclone"
- "Sugar"
- The song that Selma Hayek strip teases to in "From Dusk Till Dawn". Too lazy to look it up, but some chick stripped to it the other night and it was OMG SOOOO HAWT!
- "The Way I Are"
- "Sexy Back"
- "Cyclone"
- "Sugar"
Random Remembrances From Last Weekend
- Tequila Tequila Tequila! And constantly yelling "UNO MAS!"
- Drinking a lot of shit and a lot of different shit by the Jacuzzi
- Asking some random dude what his favorite drink was
- Him saying he didn't drink and then peacing out
- Some random chicks running around and me asking if they were age appropriate (as i was without glasses) and someone telling me that they were not
- Yelling at Hillary for some reason and her calling me a lot of nice names. Sad Story!
- Apparently getting into a very heated discussion about whether Mike Piazza was teh ghey.
- Drinking a lot of shit and a lot of different shit by the Jacuzzi
- Asking some random dude what his favorite drink was
- Him saying he didn't drink and then peacing out
- Some random chicks running around and me asking if they were age appropriate (as i was without glasses) and someone telling me that they were not
- Yelling at Hillary for some reason and her calling me a lot of nice names. Sad Story!
- Apparently getting into a very heated discussion about whether Mike Piazza was teh ghey.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
