Sunday, October 18, 2009

Awesome Saturday

with all my Brothers, Woman and Woman! In terms of pure volume, probably the most beer I've ever consumed in one day, but spread out over a 12 hour period, I was able to avoid getting blackout drunk which is kind of a rarity for the moderator these days. A few things learned, or relearned from this fine day:

(1) Brian Parrelli is a damn fine chef/grill master, and his cooking skills are second only to Giada.
(2) While Brian is a fantastic chef, friend, and host, he is 100% incompetent when it comes to giving directions, or gauging distances from point A to point B.
(3) Big Juan is still the fucking man, and someone I will drink with any fucking day.
(4) Never Ever in 10 Million Fucking Years piss off Heather Owen. Well I mean aside from the fact that she is super awesome, and should always be respected, if you cross her she will give you the look of death, and then transfer you from the category of "alive", to the category of "deceased".
(5) Paul Smith is the closest thing to me as a baseball fan, although he still has a long ways to go. Until he's collapsing on the floor numerous times in the game over balls and strikes, he can't be compared to moi, but he definitely showed me something today, and proved that he is worthy of
being introduced to the club of redonkulously pessimistic and overreactive fans. Welcome Mr. Smith: it's a sick club and life, but somebody has to counterbalance the bandwaggoners, and everything is sunshine and roses crowd.
(6) The same Mr. Smith is an incredible J-Hole. Dude how in God's green earth do you not know to concede the front seat to Woman?!!! I'm a douche, and a ra tard, and even I know that!
(7) Ryan Dow needs to make up his fucking mind before calling me for 12:30am Del Taco runs, unless that was a drunk dial (I couldn't quite tell), in which case, It's About Fucking Time Bro! Shit man you owe me so many drunk dials, but never deliver, it almost feels like we aren't friends anymore.
(8) Hillary Gollenberg wins super awesome comment of the week for talking shit on chicks who "have to be at a baseball game to enjoy it". Seriously those chicks really irritate me, stop trying to "fit in" and just say you don't like baseball, because you clearly don't.
(9) The song "One Fine Day" is pretty damn catchy.
(10) Time to give up on 20 something chicks, since they clearly aren't having any of this, and be strictly a cougar guy. Complete epic fail on my part, that I did not end up banging the super hot cougar that eye fucked the shit out of me by the pool.

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