Sunday, June 26, 2011

Dodger Talk

- Anything less than Cuban will be a major letdown

- Jesus please don't let the McCourts make payroll on Thursday. My question is what idiots actually are lending money to this broke moron? Failure to make payroll= hopefully a new owner asap so we can trade our veterans with value, and get some prospects to rebuild. We're pretty much fucked for 2012 no matter what, but hopefully by 2013 we can bring this once proud franchise back to where it should be.

- When Don Mattingly makes a call to the bullpen he should be waving a white flag in his hand.

- This is without a doubt the most pathetic offense I have ever seen. The inability to do the little things, and especially the situational hitting is an abomination.

- Juan Uribe and Dioner Navarro= the two most worthless players in baseball.

- I never thought I'd see a worse manager than Davey Johnson, but Don Mattingly is making me question that pretense. His handling of the staff, the bullpen, his man love for Navarro, and situational decisions are all atrocious.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Random Remembrances from Last Night

- Went out to Downtown Fullerton for Eric's birthday, with him and some of his teammates and their girls.

- Started at a couple bars and had some crazy drinks I don't normally have and a super tall boy of Irish Red (damn I love my beer and my women Red)

- Walked to another bar, had to piss, couldn't wait so just pissed against a building- had people laughing at me but who the fuck cares?

- Went to Cosmo or some shit like that. Ran into an old friend who was even more drunk than I was. Matt gave a nice bday toast to Eric. Tried to dance with some chicks who were unbelievably cold to me (and I wasn't that drunk yet). These chicks were single and refused to dance with me.

- Went to the Cougar Bar. I order a drink, and everyone peaces, so I stay and finish the drink. I walk over the dance floor, and try dancing with some girls. One group of chicks turns their back when I try and dance with them, another group puts their hands up in my face, tells me to go away, and walk away. I really don't even remember saying anything, and I didn't get ejected even though there was security right there, so it wasn't me, these chicks were just bitches. I pound my drink, peace out, and then the lights go out.

AFTERWORD: I have since been told that I told some hawt bartender that "she was the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life" and that we did fish bowls, so I'm surprised my memory is fuzzy. Another solid all day hangover.

Random Remembrances from Saturday Night

- After attending a wedding, I hung out with my boys Ahron, Erik, and Mikey P. 4 glasses of Jameson and ice later, and one lol Dodger loss later, and we head out to a couple parties that Mike/Ahron got invites to.

- Party #1: An odd assortment of people if i recall correctly. There were people from ages 18-40, and everywhere in between. I remember seeing a smoking hawt red headed milf, some old buddies from high school. Then I see some chicks smoking- I'm beyond gone at this point. I tell them not to smoke, and that it's bad for you, take their cigarettes and finish them for them.

- Party #2: I walk in the house to take a piss. The people (parents and family of the guy who's party it was) ask me how I know him. I have no fucking clue who this guy is, so I just say I'm friends with Mike and Ahron, they don't know who they are, so now I'm like holy shit wtf?! I don't remember what I said, but I do remember that it made them laugh, and they said have a drink have a good time. I remember trying to hit on some chicks, falling down (I think), shit talking some guys playing beer pong, and then the lights go out.


I've got the itch back. Been playing great lately. Just played my best round in a long time today (72 on a Par 65 course- Fullerton). I hit the ball better than I have in a long long time, and could have shot really low but lipped out/burnt the edge on at least 6 putts, but probably more. My putting had been on fire, so if I can put it all together, I like where I'm going.

Bonus: Hit the longest drive of my life as well ~290 yards with some assistance from the cart path.

Monday, June 13, 2011

I'm Hurt Dog Don't Ask Me if I'm Alright HELL NO!!!

- First of all, LOL Dodgers, I don't want to say anything more because it's only going to make me upset.

- Secondly, I'm completely and utterly heartbroken over my alma mater UC Irvine's soul-crushing defeat today. After an epic comeback yesterday, they were up 2-1 today with nobody on and 2 outs in the bottom of the 9th, one precious out away from advancing to Omaha with their ace on the mound against the #1 team in the country. 5 horrible minutes later, Virginia was celebrating a miracle comeback, and mad props to them for their resilience and showing why they were the best team in the nation, but the pain I feel right now is tough to describe.

Random Remembrances from Paul and Heather's Visit

So glad you guys got to come out here, miss ya'll already, and thanks again to the Owens for everything!

- Welcome Home Party= DRUNKAPOTAMUS! Had several beers, a couple random drinks, and then close to half a bottle of scotch. I have some vague remembrances about watching a UCLA baseball game, talking about the MLB draft, talking about strip clubs, and dropping some F bombs but in a funny way. Heather told me I was funny and making everyone laugh, so I guess I did well.

- 3 Rounds of Golf. I think I found my swing again, then I lost it, then I found it, but holy hell is my putting absolutely on fire right now. Every time I stand over a putt, I feel like I'm gonna make it.

- Dinners together were so much fun, Mama O's bday was tons of fun, the Fab Five reunion dinner was nostalgic to say the least, as was Yardhouse, which was very nice for a different reason, and the Angel game was super awesome. Altogether a very very fun week of drinking and good times that I will cherish and remember.

Random Remembrances from The River

By reader's request:

Night 1:
- Got there late, drank a lot of Coors Light, went to bed a little buzzed

Night 2:

- Finished building the float around 4 or 5pm. Went to Fox's and drank 4 Mai Tai's (it's the drink of choice there I guess so I went with the flow) in under an hour. We spotted a group of cute girls, and wanted to get them on the stripper pole. After a couple minutes of arguing over who should start it off, I manned up. I motioned to said hawt chicks to join me but they did not oblige. Some random chick did, we danced for a minute until her b/f showed up. I tried to peace out, but he encouraged me to keep going, I got some high fives and then everyone else followed my lead.

- Things start getting very fuzzy after this. Apparently I walked/charged right into a sliding glass door, resulting in both of my legs being in massive pain for the next week.

- I remember eating a hot dog at some point.

- I remember Rick, Natalie, and Jeff arriving, and me talking some retarded bullshit to them about Lord knows what.

- I remember going to Paradise (a bar), drinking something called a "River Water" and then the lights completely go out.

Day 3:

- THE FLOAT DAY was truly legendary. Eric and I spent the whole morning of hungover as fuck, and we each puked, after shots of Jager which btw I'm never voluntarily drinking again.

- Tons of chicks flashed us thanks to Ryan and his insane amount of shit that he got from Jager, as well as Hillary for being the biggest perv of all of us, and continually chiding chicks to show us their tits! THANKS WOMAN!

- Then, thanks to my fucking boy Ricky G from the I.E., we encountered a group of chicks who wanted shots of Jager. After some negotiations, Rick steps up and tells them that they all get shots if I get to motorboat one of them. One chick (solid B cups and kinda cute like I'd hit it of course but not a model or anything) agrees. I motorboat her tits, her ass, and get to spank her (she had a very nice ass btw def. her best quality).

All in all, awesome weekend, special thanks to Sam Dow, Ryan, Hillary, and Rick.

Congratulations Paige and Morgan!

Your wedding from the service to the reception, to all the comings and goings preceding it were amazing, and a day that your moderator will never forget. I'm not gonna lie, I almost teared up a bit during the service. Everything was beautiful, the signature drink was an overwhelming success, yours truly got quite buzzed off of it. Then the reception of course was super fun, the dancing was awesome, Paige I don't know why you were so worried, you were the man and legendary that night.

As for your moderator, well he got severely fucked up, drinking anything and everything in sight. The quickness with which I kept returning to the bar was accelerated by the fact that I was trying to make the moves on the cute bartender chick. For the record, I did a very very good job (quick shout out to Morgan's mom for playing wingwoman for me), but alas she not only had a boyfriend, but was a Bruin, so things would have never worked out. And for the record, yes I puked my guts out in the bushes at the end of the night. Still pissed the DJ didn't play my song: "La Bamba" would have gotten that place rocking.

Congrats again to the newlyweds! Hope you guys have an awesome honeymoon and a lifetime of happiness together! CHEERS!