Monday, May 31, 2010

Walk Off Balks FTW!

Don't think I've ever seen that before, but I'll take it. Just another great comeback for the boys in blue, I'm stoked for this 13 game homestand. Just wish the Padres would lose a game every once in a while.

One Hour

Until the highly anticipated return of Andre ETHIER! Hope he continues on the torrid pace he was on before he got injured. Longest homestand of the year, time to do some work boys!

Is It Just Me?

Or is the sun like 20X brighter than usual this morning? Curse you you bloody sun!

Happy Birthday Mrs. O!

- Thank you to my first and most loyal reader
- Wishing you an awesome wine filled day, and I guess since it's your day, I'll root for an Angels win this one time.
- You deserve a medal for putting up with that daughter of yours for 22 years. I've discovered that 2-3 hours= marc1313's time limit with her before I want to stab myself in the face, so I can't even imagine how you feel?
- Edit: Heather is a wonderful and fantastic human being! Being blessed with her birth must have been the most amazing honor of your entire life, and becoming friends with her has been the greatest joy of my life!
- You and Mr. O deserve infinity million medals for allowing said daughter to marry my extremely homosexual best friend. I mean I love the guy in a non homo way, but I would NEVER let any daughter of mine marry that guy. I mean, he KISSED A GUY! Plus anyone who's best friends with me has to earn at least some super sketchy points, right?

Sunday, May 30, 2010

How I Met My Future Wife

Ok this post will be sort of a culmination of all of my crushes/romances and friendships of the past. I've been drinking, so if this is nonsensical, ask for clarification the next time I see you, and I will be happy to oblige. Based off of the show "How I Met Your Mother".

Season 1= The story begins in my Freshman English class, where I "fall for" this chick let's call her "Robin". Despite the fact that Robin and I have nothing in common, I long for and pine over her for two and a half years, for reasons that are still unknown. Finally, I ask her out to the Winter Formal dance. At said dance, I basically serve as the official photographer of the dance, and am embarrassed and hurt when she seems to be ashamed to dance with me, and sort of rushes out when the last song is played. Still there is some hope, and in the Season Finale= I ask her out for a 2nd date and...

Season 2= She politely declines my invite. Devastation and depression ensues for a couple of episodes until our hero notices a girl who has always been "there", but he has never really gotten to know. She helps the hero get over his previous crush, makes him feel better about himself, and treats him like the greatest guy in the world. He has feelings for her, but is afraid of getting hurt, and in the season finale: Last day of high school, and despite all his feelings, fails to ask her out. They part not to see each other again for a while.

Season 3= I enter the religious phase of my life. With the girl from season 2 still in my mind, in a Christian Club I meet a chick (lets call her "Jennifer") that I have a chemistry with, and who seems interested in me. For a couple of months we share our stories, and bond over sports games, group meetings, and sharing in our faith. In the series finale I show up to her door with all the necessary ingredients to cook dinner. She opens the door and her boyfriend that she had somehow forgot to mention in the previous few months opens the door. They tell me thanks, but they had already made dinner. I sit in awkward silence for a while, trying to be polite. Shortly after, my faith is weakened, and I become "morally opposed" to cooking. The rest of season 3 focuses on the friendships that our hero picks up along the way that will come into play in season 5: in addition to the guy friends he has had all along, specifically the girlfriend/later wife of his best friend, and a friend from grad school.

Season 4= Our hero delves into a state of depression/alcoholism/strip club addiction, but is always kept up by his friends, especially his best friend, and the memories of the girl from season 2. He by chance runs into the girl from season 2, and discovers that she is happily married with a child. He is devastated and depressed, but still happy that she has found her happiness in life. He prays on a regular basis for God to give her all of his happiness, and give him all of her misery and heartache. While the thoughts of and memories of her keep him strong on some dark nights, he is not in a good place, and drowning in a pool of self-hatred and misery.

Season 5= I meet an amazing girl who has much in common with me, and has a chemistry with me that I can't describe in words. My "anti-cooking" stance becomes a key starting point of our relationship hence bringing season 3 back into the picture. We flirt, we have a connection, and all signs point towards a blossoming relationship. The hero asks her out, but she has a b/f. A year later she is newly single, and their relationship grows stronger. A relationship seems inevitable, they do the group thing, and are both extremely flirty and touchy with each other. They just "get each other". Eventually he asks her out, and she rejects him. He is destroyed beyond belief. However, this rejection is the best thing that ever happened to him. The friends from season 3-4 help him through this rejection, and eventually with their help he realizes that he is a great guy who deserves to be loved by someone special and amazing, who appreciates him for who he is. The girl from season 5 helped him mature, get over his immature/strip club/perv phase, and realize that that is not who he is. He's just a good guy who is waiting to meet the good girl that completes him, and will love him for who he is, hush puppies, stripes on stripes and all. The hero finally realizes why every person in his life, and all of his past "failures" came into his life. He is excited for and ready for the future!

Season 6 and beyond= Who knows what the future has in store for me? I'm just excited, I have amazing people in my life who are here to support me, and am ready for whatever the Universe has in store for me!


Was probably the sickest day of baseball ever:

- Halladay's perfecto...two this year and three in the last two seasons= sickness! Quick digression: came so close to getting the sickest trivia question ever right.

Question: Name the 4 pitchers to win a Cy Young + pitch a perfecto
My Answer (without looking anything up you dipshits, I don't cheat): Randy Johnson, Catfish Hunter, Jim Bunning, and Sandy Koufax
Correct Answer: Johnson, Hunter, Koufax, and David Cone

I knew Cone threw a perfecto, I just didn't think he won a Cy Young, and thought that Bunning did for some reason. Last time I trust a fucking Congressman (or ex not sure)

- KMo's Walk Off Slamament + freak injury...Halos will probably make a move for Berkman or Konerko imo, and they have to...the SP hasn't panned out yet, and isn't deep enough to carry them without a big bat. If Aybar or someone else doesn't start picking it up out of the 1 hole, it's a moot point anyways.

- ARod almost killing David Huff. Wishing him a quick and speedy recovery, and FUCK THE YANKEES!

10 Reasons Why I Love Scotch!

(1) It tastes great.
(2) It's a strong yet smooth drink.
(3) Love the smokey flavor
(4) It makes me feel and look sophisticated!
(5) I love saying the word "scotch"
(6) It makes me a better writer
(7) The hangovers are few and far between.
(8) It complements the hush puppies
(9) I feel pretty fucking good right now
(10) The douchebag bro sipping his malibu and coke ain't got shit on me! Yea faggots keep drinking your girly drinks, you'll get some cheap hookups and probably teh AIDS. I'm gonna get the "10" with a penchant for some Chivas.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010


- So I've learned about myself, life, and love in the past few weeks. There will be some changes to this blog, and in myself, all for the better imo.

- First of all, at least for now the emo self-pity OMG I'm in love party is OVER! Thank God, because I was as sick and tired of writing about it as I'm sure you all were of reading and listening to it.

- The funnies will still be a staple of this blog, and regular bazingas will be had

- Talk of "hooking up" and hit it and quit it will no longer be posted except maybe in jest. I've realized that that sort of thing, as well as strip clubs with the exception of special occasions are not for me. Call me a pussy, I call it becoming more mature. I've finally found a sense of self-happiness, and forgiveness, and now that I feel that I'm ready to meet someone special and to be loved, I'm going to go out and look for someone special who is of likemindedness.

The Moderator

has just given himself the greatest gift you can ever give yourself: Forgiveness! Life for the first time in a very long time makes perfect sense to me, and I am ready to chase after life and "the one" with a newfound respect, love, and forgiveness of myself. All of my past failures in love make perfect sense to me, I see why they failed, and why ultimately every single one of them will inevitably lead to me meeting "the one". Life isn't always about the destination, it's about the journey, and regardless of where I am in my journey, I'm going to embrace it, enjoy it, and when the time does come to reach my destination, I will embrace it, hold on tight, and never let go.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Ignore this Post

for I was wrong. It's over. She's not the one, because when it's "the one" it won't be this difficult, it will be easy, and she will love you no matter what.

Quotation of the Day

"Life is a combination of our destiny and our own free will. So have the courage to go out there and find your destiny!"

Sunday, May 23, 2010

You Know It's Bad When...

it is 9:43pm and you are experiencing hangover like symptoms.

Cold Case

- Yes the police aspect of the show is highly improbable, but I just love this show.
- It pisses me off that I like it, as some of the episodes have a definite liberal tilt to it
- Yet I still cannot resist watching an episode from time to time because I just love some of these stories. That combined with the fact that the music chosen for these episodes are pretty almost always perfect= WINNER!

marc1313's Perfect Day

5am= wake up and drink a glass of OJ
5:05 am= sex with Carrie Underwood
5:05 and 15 seconds am (lolz)= go for a nice morning run
6am= bacon + eggs + sausage + english muffins with butter AND peanut butter + hash browns + a carafe of orange juice at IHOP
7am-12pm= some poker at the good ole' Hawaiian Gardens
12pm-1pm= Carne Asada Quesadilla + 2 Carne Asada Tacos at King Taco
1pm-4pm= A good ole' fashioned game of tackle football...major injuries to yours truly will surely occur, but I'll enjoy every broken bone i get
4pm-6pm= Massage from Carrie Underwood to heal my wounds + happy ending
6pm-7pm= my mother fucking Lemon Chicken w/pasta at Mamma's
7pm-10pm= Dodgers beat Giants Infinity Million to 0. Kershaw throws a Perfecto, and Ethier hits 10 Grand Slams.
10pm-12am= Carrie Underwood + Scarlett Johansson + A bottle of Chivas Regal= A very very very good time

The Mother Fucking Worst!

Is When you know that you're making a mistake, but you make it anyways!

Not Sure...

if it's a good thing or a bad thing, that I'm like a 10X better writer when I'm buzzed/drunk than when I'm sober? Something about the booze just brings out the best in me, at least from the creative/funnies aspect!

A Most Distressing Loss

- 4 double plays
- 78003909834 men left on base
- tons of scoring opportunities where we hit bullets right at people
- Love the way we're playing right now, but a sweep there would have been awesome! Too bad we don't get to play the LOL Mariners who score 2 runs a game on a good day. Seriously think they're the most pathetic disgrace of an offense since the 1960's Dodgers.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Neil Patrick Harris

is quite possibly the funniest and most entertaining human being, but not even he could make me watch "Glee". Yea so at the behest (think i used that word wrong but ohh well) of wingwoman, I watched about 20 seconds of it, and it was some fags singing about wanting to be girls. Not that there's anything wrong with being a fag, just not for me.

Something Everyone Should Try!

Go down to Cal State Fullerton like sometime around 4pm-6pm on a hot spring or summer's day and you will be rewarded with a bounty of super hawt chicks of all different races, ethnicities, sizes, breast sizes, almost all of them wearing very minimal clothing. It's the best free entertainment you can ask for, and all of my guy friends there agree. Whether you like:

- smoldering brunettes with an attitude
- sexy FOB asians with tight bodies
- chocolate women with some booty
- blondes with amazing racks and a ditzy personality
- latinas who are dying to call you "papi"

they have it all, and anytime you want to go, gimme a call, because I'm driving!

Ridiculously Random Fun Facts About Your Moderator

- On my desk is: a monitor, a keyboard, a mouse, a real mouse, an oscillating fan, a glass of water, and an alarm clock radio.

- When I was 5 years old, this little girl kicked my ass in the sandbox, and women have been pushing me around ever since! BAZINGA!

- I have never paid one red penny for porn in my life, and those who do are fucking retarded. Ohh but you can't get full videos or good quality on those free sites?! SHUT THE FUCK UP! Free sites are the Best. Diversity, and anything you could ever ask for FTW!

- I have an obsession with acquiring and sleeping with as many pillows as humanly possible.

- Sometimes when no one is around, I fist bump my monitor, or steering wheel just for the hell of it.

- This might surprise you, but I don't do any of those weird porn fetishes. Those who do fucking creep me out, LOL at me judging other porn users i.e. 95% of the under 30 population regardless of relationship status.

- My favorite poker hand is Pocket Aces. My favorite bad hand is 98 suited. My favorite small pair is pocket deuces, because they never loses.

- A wise person once told me: "There's nothing wrong with talking with yourself. But when somebody answers back, you might have a problem."

Everytime a Porno is Made

a wingman/woman gets their wings

My Catchphrases

If they were to make a movie about me, yes I am that self-centered and fucking weird, what would be my main catchphrase, because ohh I have so many...

- "You can Go Fuck Yourself"
- "BAZINGA"...yes stolen from Sheldon but it's still gold
- "WOMAN!"
- "Get Aids, C word"
- "LOL fill in the blank"
- "Son of a mother fucker"
- Anything with the word "super" in it, super awesome, super homo, etc.
- "This will not end well"

my vote is "woman" or "this will not end well", and if you disagree, well then "you can go fuck yourself"


Facebooking whilst intoxicated. It's pretty fun, you should try it sometime. Makes for some very entertaining morning afters, and is sure to provide some laughs for the targets of your drunkbooking. As long as you go in knowing that there's no chance in hell you'll ever be better at it than yours truly, you will find it a rewarding and engaging activity.

Lessons On Love, Friendship, and Learning

SUPER LONG but hopefully worth the read. Basically a full breakdown of my love life past, present, and future.

***WARNING*** Super Mushy Gushiness, EMO AIDS, and possibly super depressing, but nothing but the truth. If you actually read this entire thing, then you deserve to know my full story

- So apparently some of you are concerned about my well-being. I appreciate your concern, and while I'm not going to lie to you and say that everything is peaches and roses right now, it could certainly be worse, and I'll get by (but not high) with a little help from my friends.

- About the girl in question, I still hope that her and I can remain friends, and I will certainly make my best efforts to, but it may be harder than just words. I won't get into too many specifics out of respect to her, but basically either (a) she is truly into me and just doesn't want to admit it, for reasons that i won't discuss or (b) was deliberately flirtatious with me because she knew that I liked her, and did so just to be a tease.

- While I really hope that it's A, the realist in me says that B is probably the truth, or at least pretty close to it. I'm probably making her out to be a terrible person here, and that is far from the truth. She is a good person, who for whatever reason led me on, probably not realizing how emotionally invested I was in the situation, and I'm not going to lie, I feel very hurt, and have for the past few days.

- A major thank you to everybody who offered me advice and words of encouragement during this entire ordeal! I have learned so much about myself, love, my past, and my future in this week. There have been five women that I have been crazy about in my lifetime, and claimed to be "in love" with. Two of them really hurt me badly, one just wanted to be friends, and we maintained a friendship for many years until we eventually drifted apart, and one well i was just perma drunk, and was never really into her, just liked talking a lot.

- Well anyways, as MANY people have mentioned to me: "the right one won't care about your baggage or issues" and "it will be easy when you're with the right one". Well what I realized is that for all of the four women mentioned, it wasn't easy, I put everything into the friendship/attempts at a relationship, and never got anything in return except perhaps the occasional ruse. Perhaps even more significantly, all four of them made me WEAKER! I invested so much time, effort, and energy into them, and trying to be the person I thought they wanted, rather than being who I am, and letting them take it or leave it. Not trying to assign them any blame (well maybe one from my UCI days who really wrecked me emotionally, but more on that another day) but saying that things were never easy. My time with them put a drain on me, and my times and experience with them hurt me, my self-confidence, and left me a pathetic whiny pile of mush.

- Well as for the 5th girl, the one from my screenplay, things with her were easy. She gave to me (compliments, time, affection, platonic love, etc.) as much as actually more than I did in return. And I never once tried to be something different, or tried to impress her, I was ALWAYS myself! She is the only one who ever made me STRONGER, and the way I felt when I was around her is a feeling that I haven't experienced or come anywhere close to experiencing since. We ran into each other about a year ago, and the 10-15 minutes that we spent together were the best of the last 5 years of my life. She is the only woman that I have ever truly "loved", but as has been said before, she is married with a kid and out of my life probably forever. I wish her the best though, and am truly happy that she has found happiness, even though it will never be with me. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed to say that she was "the one", because every time I hear her name, think about her, or see a short chick with curly blonde hair, my heart stops, and all my worries and troubles go away. After one of my heartbreaks, she was the person that got me back on track, and more than anybody in my life, made me feel better about myself, raised my self-confidence, because she always had the PERFECT thing to say to me. She was the only one who gave to me more than I did to her, and she NEVER once asked me for anything in return. While I never told her how I felt, being an insecure an stupid teenager, she left me a better person, and while I hope to meet someone wonderful, and fall in love again, I will NEVER love someone more than I loved and continue to love her. Every woman that I have met since her has been measured against her, and none of them have even come close, because she was the one.

- So where does this leave me? Single, alone, with the girl of my dreams lost and gone forever? Well all I can do, is be who I am, the random, loving, free-spirited person that you all know and love/hate. I need to learn to love myself more, and have gained a greater appreciation for myself through this ordeal. Granted, I am terrible at being single, but I would make a great boyfriend, I just need to wait for an amazing woman, who DESERVES all the love that I would give to her, and will give back to me just as much if not more love. As a good friend told me, I've got to "guard my heart" because the right one will find their way in.

- For now, I can't do anything but move on, with my lessons learned, living life, meeting people, and if the right girl comes along, hold on tight, and this time never let go. Just because "the one" is gone, doesn't mean that I can't meet someone amazing who will make me happy for the rest of my days. You can't change the past, all you can do is use the past as a guide to help you make yourself a better future, and that's what I intend to do. I guess a part of me (the part that writes romantic comedrama movies) hold out that one in a million hope that her and I will one day be reunited, but in all honesty if divorce/widowing is what it takes for us to be together, then I hope we never do, for I just want her to be happy. So realistically...

- If however, there isn't another "one" out there for me, then I am fine with that. In my life I've met and loved my perfect woman with all my soul, and that's more than many people can say. I am blessed to have met her, just the memories that I shared with her make me happy during my worst days (the past week + right now). If a lifetime alone is what God has planned for me, then I'll say my prayers, love life, love others, and when I die I will get to spend the rest of eternity with her, and all the other people that I love. God Bless you all, thank you for reading, and good night, and may you all find what it is you are looking for.

- Marc James Tokushige

Dallas Braden!

A belated congratulations for your perfect game! Such a sick week for pitchers, with Johnny Cueto and Matt Latos also tossing complete game one-hit shutouts with ZERO walks although Cueto did have a HBP. Loving this season, although my hatred for the Yankees is being multiplied by like infinity million! Need to go to a game though FFS! Finals end Wednesday, so this weekend?

John Ely!

My God this man is a sicko! 3 straight amazing starts, this kid has heart and energy (when Bills came out of the game Sunday, he was the first one to greet him). Love the work he and the rest of the staff has done to help put this team back on track. Hoping that 2010 may finally be the year! Get Well Soon Mr. Ethier! You are missed, and ohh yea can we please for the love of God release Garrett Anderson, and call up Xavier Paul?

Thursday, May 13, 2010

The Perfect Woman Updated

A Woman who will love me as much as I love her. That's it, but even that is probably too much to ask for. I've had three major heart surgeries (psshh), a splenectomy (piece of cake),and cheated death three times (ho-hum) but all of that pales to the pain that I feel right now. Not just this girl, but all of the Women failures in my lifetime. I just can't take anymore of this. My past posts have all been about one-night stands, hit it and quit it, etc. but what I really and truly want is that special someone who just makes me happy. If I ever do find her, my God she will be spoiled with move love and affection than she could ever imagine, but alas it probably is not in the cards for me.

Girl Situation Final Update!

- Projects Done= Finally asked her out on a real date
- My delivery was piss poor awful on account of extreme nervousness
- She Said "No" of course. I'm just not what she's looking for, like that's a big fucking surprise.
- Trying everything possible NOT to drink tonight, but immerse myself in the blog and the screenplay instead.
- Subtract another 4389084 points from my "confidence" scale. At one point during my pursuit of her, I said "If she's not into me, then I should just give up" because I was so 100% sure she was into me. At this point giving up seems the right play. 25.5 years and not a single "Yes" answer = why keep trying and hurting myself like this?
- To those of you who would say "It's her loss" or shift the blame to her, lets face the facts: the common denominator in all my rejections is me. I tried so so hard this time, you all know that I did, and I did good every step of the way, and still crashed and burned. It's just me, it's just me...

Thanks to those of you who listened to and supported me through this entire ordeal. I am glad that I have some closure, and can move on, but I just don't want to move on.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Girl Situation Update

- Okay, I'm not afraid to admit it, I am in love with this girl. No matter how extreme the odds may seemed to be stacked against me, I'm not going to give up. Despite the fact that just about everyone that I've talked to about it, has told me to just give it up and move on, I cannot.

- This just might be my last chance at something special, and if you don't believe me, then fuck you must really not know me very well. If you've read my screenplay, or I've told you the basic story behind it, then you know that just giving up is something that I can never do again.

- Someone gave me some solid food for thought arguing that I was just in love with the idea of being in love, but I can say with complete confidence that this argument while not totally ill-conceived is still incorrect. Never have I met someone who is so perfect for me, and with whom I share such a fluid chemistry!

- So that leaves me here at 2:43 am, with the simple request to you all that even if you don't think this is going to work, and you know what it probably will not, that you simply respect my decision, and support me, because this is something that I have to do!

- I feel that someway, somehow, we are a part of each other's destiny, whether we fall in love and get married, or she rejects me and we never see each other again, or something in between, that this woman is somehow a part of my destiny, or I a part of hers, and that I have no choice but to tell her that I love her, and lay all my cards on the table, and put our future and our destiny in her hands.

Am I crazy? I really feel like I'm losing my mind, but maybe that's a good thing, I mean isn't madness a part of being in love? I really don't know what to think or believe anymore. Help Me Readers!

I leave you with this quote:

"You know you truly love somebody when they hurt you so badly, but all you can think about it is the times when they made you smile."

Monday, May 10, 2010

Friday, May 7, 2010

Woke Up This Morning!

and the birds were singing, my oscillating fan was oscillating awesomely, and all the sadness and hurt that I felt was gone. Moving on and ready to try and find my destiny elsewhere. Everything happens for a reason, and I'm excited to see where the next step of my journey takes me.

Thursday, May 6, 2010


- Just another walk-off for the sickest, most clutch player alive, this time of the grand slamament variety!

- Still pissed that we blew the lead, and cost Ely his 1st MLB Win, he sure pitched a hell of a game, changing speeds and hitting his spots with pinpoint precision.

- Hopefully this will be the spark that gets the team going! Either way, gonna love watching Kemp and Ethier all summer, they are simply straight G's.

Tomorrow's Itinerary

- Wake up around like 8-9...I doubt I'll fall asleep before 4, but I never get any sleep when I've been drinking
- Do some writing for my fantasy football website
- Get plenty of work done of my screenplay
- Get all of my crying out of the way...thank God for blogging and scotch, it's keeping my mind off the fact that the girl that I've been crazy about for the past few months...ohh why did I say that? Now I'm getting depressed
- Baseball, plenty of (fuck me now I'm really depressed)...i'll get back to you

No Longer a Virgin!!!!

BAZINGA! You've fallen victim to another one of my classical practical jokes. Ohh trust me you probably don't want to read the next like 10 posts, unless you want to read about a 16 year old girl crying about "love".

Current Food/Drink List

- Johnny Walker...lots of it
- Getting kind of hungry...debating between a bacon cheeseburger w/fries, or mother FUCKING pizza bagels....the upside= I can't go wrong with either one...the downside= it's still 1:25 am and I'm still alone and a pathetic loser who's going to die alone

An Argument In Favor of Not Giving Up

- "The One" may still be out there. Someone who can make me truly and eternally happy. Someone whose love for the Dodgers and baseball is second only to their love for me.

- Chasing after a woman is fun at times, and the thrill of "falling in love" is something that I would love to experience

- Strip Clubs are awesome, but at the same time depressing (sometimes) and deep down, I've always wanted to meet that special someone with whom I shared a special connection.

- Would be great to have someone to share my life, my highs/lows, my emotions with, and that special girl who just "gets me", and doesn't care that I'm ugly, have low self-esteem, and am really fucking weird, because she just loves me for who I am, and I do in return.

An Argument In Favor of Giving Up

- I'm picky, and hawt chicks are not going to be digging me, so why even bother

- 15% of people never get married, and I'm probably somewhere in the bottom 15% of guys attractiveness wise. If that doesn't bury me, then my off-the-wall personality sure will. While I make for a great friend, and in all honesty would be a great boyfriend, no chick is going to give me that chance, because lets face it, what self-respecting woman would want to be seen in public with me?

- Strip Clubs are Fucking Awesome

- Giving Up= never experiencing anymore heartache and any more anguish...just enjoy my beer, my baseball, and my strippers from here until eternity, and be happy

- This blog will remain eternally awesome so long as there's no chick scrambling my fucking brains fucking shit up

Current Playlist

Yea this is gonna be VERY teh ghey, but GFY!

- "One Year Six Months"
- "Back on the Chain Gang"
- "Go Getta"
- "Big Baller"
- Some *cough* Taylor Swift songs....there I said it, God I'm such a fairy tale faggot, no wonder Paul and I are such good homo but sigh I miss that fucking guy
- "There She Goes"
- "The Girl From Yesterday"

People Who I Would Like to Thank!

For always being there for me, and having the right thing to say when I needed someone to talk to.

- Ryan Dow
- Ahron Valverde
- Hillary Gollenberg
- Heather Smith and her lol ugly wife Paul
- All of my "moms" that read this blog

On this, one of my saddest days in a long time, just talking/texting to you all, and knowing that you all are stable rocks in my life makes me feel better. I love each and every one of you and could not imagine my life without you.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Why TV and the Movies are Dead Wrong!

- I'm not trying to knock relationships/marriage in any way, but Television and Marriage has distorted our image on love and life from an early life, and continues to try and distort said image throughout our lives.

- The fact of the matter is that these idyllic love stories, and magical happy endings are the exception and not the norm.

- 99.99% of the time the geek does not get the girl, in fact that the geek doesn't even come close to getting the girl. If the girl even gives this piece of shit loser the time of day, it's only to use him, or build her self-esteem so she can move onto someone else. Memo to Losers: Just Fucking Give Up! Stop wasting your time on chicks who could care less about you, and embrace your loser status rather than being ashamed of it. Enjoy your freedom, and become the "weird old guy at strip clubs".

- Put it this way, by becoming that weird old guy, you are not only setting yourself free, and never going to get your heart crushed again, but when your peers are 60 and still with the same woman who's also 60, you will be hooking up with a bunch of hawt random 20 something women. Sounds like a solid fucking win to me!

Top 10 Reasons

Why The Moderator is Going to Die Alone

(1) I am Ugly as Fuck
(2) I am Ridiculously Unattractive
(3) Even when I dress up, and do everything I can to look good, I still look like shit.
(4) I'm a fucking degen (my fault on this one)
(5) I have no fucking idea how to talk to women. I mean I try, I really really do try and learn from my mistakes, but always manage to fuck it up.
(6) I'm too picky and too selective with women.
(7) Chicks tend not to like guys who are: Asian, 5 feet fucking tall, undersized, and are fucking weird.
(8) Being the "nice guy" and the "funny guy" is all fun and games, and will make me plenty of female friends, but never a girl friend. Being a pretentious douche really isn't me, and I refuse to change who I am just to make a girl happy.
(9) In case you have never met me, I am ugly as fuck!
(10) For anyone who has read my screenplay, I deserve to. I met and fell for the most amazing chick ever, we have a great year together, but my scared little self never told her how I felt. Regrets FTL!

LOL Dodgers!

- Fuck you to our Morally and Financially Bankrupt Owners
- Fuck you to our overrated General Manager for pissing off our franchise player, all but ensuring that he will be in pinstripes for the 2012 season. Sigh I will vomit when that inevitability occurs.
- LOL our starting pitching. Kershaw sure isn't developing into the ace that we so desperately need for him to become. He's got A+ stuff, but just doesn't trust it. Confidence kid, that's what it's all about!
- LOL our bullpen outside of Broxton!

Still Ethier is the fucking man! Triple Crown FTW!

Drinko De Mayo

Happy Drinko De Mayo or Cinco de Drinko or Cinco de Cryo whatever the fuck you want to call it. I'm pretty fucking miserable in every possible way right now, so heavy consumption of alcohol in the next 3-5 hours is almost sure to ensue. Hope drunk blogging is as good as it was in the past, and that I haven't lost my touch.

The Return of the Moderator

Well after an extended absence, I am officially back! Took some time off to make a pursuit at true happiness, but LOL at that; obviously wasn't in the cards. Thank you all for your patience during this time, and I will try and make it up to you with hilarity and super awesomeness in the weeks to follow.

I guess I owe you all the full story of why I was absent for so long

- There was this chick that was as close to as perfect for me as I could possibly imagine (hawt, dodgers fan, ridiculously random, loves all my jokes, etc. you get the point)

- We have a lot in common, and she exhibited many signs of being interested in me, at least in terms of flirtation and body language

- I was so hung up on her, that I literally couldn't function correctly, and developed many teh ghey habits (listening to chick music, pining over her, feeling all lovey dovey etc.)

- After many attempts, it is now painfully clear that she is not into me, and that for whatever reason she was just either being nice or playing me. It really doesn't matter at this point. I feel like such a fucking assclown, am really hurt and heartbroken (GFY if you're making fun at me for this point), and just confused.

- I'm not mad at, and do not blame said chick. She's a solid 9, and let's face it I'm like a 3 or maybe a 4 on a good day, so it's not like I ever really deserved a chance. This isn't the movies, hawt girls don't end up with guys like me no matter how "nice" they are. Deep down I always knew that this was going to end badly, but I guess I just tried to see past all the bad, in the desperate hope that a miracle would happen.

Well, at this point, I'm pretty much at the point where I just want to give up on finding that ever elusive "the one". I just don't know what to do or think at this point, but at least I have great friends (you all) to help me get through this. Love you all, and hope to keep you forever entertained.

First Draft on My Screenplay

is completed. Need major assistance, if you would like to read it, please shoot me your email address, and I will make sure to ship it to you. Need all the help that I can get, so any and all assistance would be greatly appreciated. Be forewarned, that it's pretty chick flickish with a baseball motif of course.