Sunday, June 27, 2010

Vegas Trip Report

- Very Heavy Drinking and very minimal gambling this trip
- Night 1: Arrived around midnight and went to the Voodoo Lounge which is an outdoor club on the 52nd floor of the Rio. After kicking back a couple glasses of Jamo at the room it was Adios time. Blacked out after a couple of them as these were Exceptionally strong.
- Drunk Texted this chick that I like: "(her name)! OMG! Your Love is my Drug"...damage controlled it well though the next day
- All I really remember was almost getting in a fight with some douchebag who gave Hillary shit, and knocking on the door for the wrong room (room 339 but in the wrong tower). I have ZERO clue how I got to my room correctly considering I didn't know where it was, I was blitzed out of my mind, and I was carrying all of luggage.
- Saturday was fairly uneventful until eveningish. A glass of scotch + a 190= it was time to fucking party. Blacked out much of the night but we went to Toby Keith's. I asked out our waitress but i think she turned me down. I went up to the two hawt hostesses and asked for a pen and paper. I then said: "I don't know which of you is hawter, but here's my number, so call me." they never did.
- Ohh when the hawt maid asked me how I was doing I said: "Well very nice now that I've met you". I'm telling you I was so locked in last night it was unreal.
- At some point somebody gave me a Mr. T gold chain necklace, and my God did it just make the night so much fucking better. Went to some club at the Venetian, got bottle service, and I was just on fire. Took pictures with so many people including plenty of hawt chicks and a bachelorette party. Danced with a ton of chicks including TWINS! And hawt twins at that. My one liners were working, and it was like I was a different person, just a fucking awesome night. I'm DEFINITELY wearing the chain necklace like everywhere cool that I go from now on.

Friday, June 25, 2010

World Cup Round of 16 Preview

Some major surprises in Group Play, namely the dismissal of France and Italy, 2006's two finalists, the advancement of two Asian countries, the dominance of South America (all 5 teams advanced), and outside of Ghana, the failure of the African nations. Here are the predictions from the soccer newb but learning a lot moderator.

Uruguay-South Korea: Uruguay did not allow a goal in group play, and Forlan has been arguably the best player in the tournament so far. South Korea can score against lesser competition, but their back line has more holes in it than Swiss Cheese.

Uruguay 2 South Korea 0

USA-Ghana: If the United States comes out and plays a full 90 minutes, the game will be theirs for the taking. Ghana has plenty of speed, so the Americans' defense must stay focused and not give up any easy chances. Howard is emerging as one of the best goalies in the world and will make a big save or two to lead his team to victory.

USA 2 Ghana 1

Germany-England: One of the best games on paper in the Round of 16, both teams struggled at times during group play, but that's all over now. England's back line MUST play better if they are to win, but their shaky defense and goaltending will fail them.

Germany 1 England 0

Argentina-Mexico: Mexico was one of my sleeper teams to make a deep run in this tournament, until they drew this matchup. Argentina along with Brazil and the Netherlands have been in a class of their own thus far, and Messi still hasn't gotten going yet. Mexico's youthful energy and talented will make it exciting in the 1st half, but Argentina wins this one.

Argentina 2 Mexico 0

Netherlands-Slovakia: The Dutch have been the only European superpower to play to their potential thus far. Slovakia has no chance.

Netherlands 3 Slovakia 0

Brazil-Chile: Chile played admirably today nearly coming back against Spain despite being a man short. One has to root for them given their country's struggles, but Brazil is in a class of their own.

Brazil 3 Chile 1

Paraguay-Japan: Didn't really watch either team play, so I'll just take a guess.

Paraguay 3 Japan 2

Spain-Portugal: The other great round of 16 game, these two neighboring countries should put on quite a show. Spain demonstrated their remarkable passing ability in the Chile game, and are too deep a team to fall short this early.

Spain 1 Portugal 0

VEGAS Top 10 Moments

Heading out to Vegas tonight, so in honor of that, going to count down the moderator's top 10 Vegas moments from the past. Hope to create a whole new top 10 this trip, especially creating a new #1 ;-) i think that's the winking emoticon. Know what I saying?!

#10- I don't remember

#9- Running full speed from Harrah's to Mandalay Bay to make it in time for OMG Mamma Mia. Ryan, Paul, and I going batshit crazy when we found out that the Angels no-hit the Dodgers, and LOST! The people around us not being very amused!

#8- All my interactions with super hawt poker dealers at the Bellagio.

#7- Unblacking out, only to realize that I was the chip leader of my poker tournament even though I had no idea how I got there. Proceeded to get knocked out when my AA < AK. Sickness!

#6- "We're going streaking". The moderator starts stripping, gets about halfway done, and then the lights went out.

#5- The Pool incident. Returning from being the bubble boy in my poker tournament, only to have my friends cheer me up by taking turns throwing me in the pool, and then getting me super drunk. BTW I got a perfect 10 on my dives followed by numerous standing ovations!

#4- Marc and Paul off to Vegas for Paul's 21st. No drinking, just a billion hours straight of nothing but poker at like every different card room on the Strip. Also the first time I ever saw snow, so I was pretty excited.

#3- The Moderator "interviewing" a bagillion people up and down the Strip, taking and pocketing every stripper card he could get his hands on, the epic conversation with the black guys, and of course the escalator incident.

#2- Paul's Bachelor Party...enough said, I've already said too much. Best Weekend Ever Guys!

#1- March 2006 aka the first time I ever got drunk. Drank a 190 in like 5 minutes, went kind of crazy nutso, insane night, no idea how we made it back to our hotel the next morning, and I'm still waiting for those fuckers at Caesar's to give me my fucking hot dog back!

Toy Story 3 Movie Review *Kinda Spoilers*

Pixar has struck again in this final installment of this trilogy, and its first breakout film. I don't like to throw out the word "masterpiece" too often, but this film truly was perfect, and I can't think of a single flaw with the film. If there were any flaws, they were either insignificant or overshadowed by this incredibly moving story about moving on from one chapter of your life to another. I laughed, I smiled, I was on the edge of my seat, and I was moved almost to tears, and to me, that's a complete movie. With the exception of the Original Star Wars Trilogy the final chapter of movie trilogies usually fall short of their predecessors, but I argue that this was the finest film in the Toy Story trilogy.

The film builds upon its predecessors, continuing the story with perfect continuity, and pulls at your heartstrings for the entire 2 hours while at the same time making you laugh and sharing with you the physical and emotional journey that the characters are enduring. The final half an hour was one of the most touching and emotional half hours of my movie-going life, made so because the emotion was genuine and earned. You genuinely felt for these characters in their journey through life because Pixar built up through these three films.

Bonus Points to any movie that has an evil care bear.

Grade: A+

Woot Woot!

The Dodgers finally won a fucking game! Don't think I've ever been more distressed than I was after Wednesday's game, but I don't want to talk about it. Should be an epic series against the Yanks this weekend, too bad I'm going to miss it.

Happy Birthday Heather!

Have a super awesome day and enjoy this blog post!

Monday, June 21, 2010

Fantasy Football Offseason: Wide Receivers

Anyone whose read my articles for FFT knows that my mantra is: Receivers can win leagues. I strongly believe in targeting consistent proven elite receivers early, and worrying and targeting a slew of high risk/high reward young running backs later. Every year there are a number of young running back who break out, and if you snag at least one of them you're in good shape. Receivers are also less injury prone, so the odds of one of your studs going down is diminished, last longer a bonus in keeper leagues, and those top receivers are so much more consistent than the lower tier guys, that grabbing 2-3 stud WR's gives you an immense advantage over the competition.

Top Gun: Andre Johnson. The best receiver in the league, who was the Texans' offense last year. This guy is money in the bank for 100+ receptions, around 1500 yards, and I even see an improvement upon the 9 touchdown performance he had last season. The only WR that should be drafted in the first round, Johnson is a straight BEAST!

Value Picks: Steve Smith (CAR) and Calvin Johnson. Smith developed a very nice rapport with Matt Moore at the end of last season, and regardless of whether Moore or Clausen are at the helm, they can't do worse than Jake Delhomme, and Smith will rebound from a disappointing 2009. Megatron on the other hand is one of the most talented wideouts in the league. The Lions added Jahvid Best to give their offense some balance and as Matthew Stafford better accustoms himself to the NFL, Megatron will explode in 2010.

Bounceback: Greg Jennings. The Packers' offense is too explosive, and with Driver ailing and aging, Jennings will pick up more pieces of the pie, and more importantly more touchdowns, which killed his value in 2009.

Breakout Years: Kenny Britt, Hakeem Nicks, and Mike Wallace. All 3 are young, extremely talented, and poised to become their team's WR1. They all benefit from being relatively unknown, and should all put WR2 numbers for a WR3 or lower price. All 3 also make fantastic dynasty/keeper picks.

Avoid: Wes Welker. Trust me, you don't want to be dealing with the worry of when he will return all season, and his touchdown upside is severely limited with Moss in tow, and the addition of Rob Gronkowski. Welker's backup Julian Edelman makes for a nice flier pick in case Welker misses extended time.

Busts: Larry Fitzgerald, Marques Colston, and Miles Austin. Nothing against these guys, they're all talented, and will have fine seasons, but none will be worth the WR1 price you'll be drafting them at. Fitzy is looking at a QB situation in Arizona that is highly unsettled, and AZ should become a run-first team behind Beanie Wells until their QB situation is resolved. The loss of Anquan Boldin will hurt him as teams will now be even more heavily focused on locking him down. Colston is going to have to keep fighting for looks with a slew of other options including a running game that garnered a lot of steam in 2009. I'd rather target Meachem later if you insist on getting a Saints WR. Austin simply won't repeat his breakout success in 2009. Rookie Dez Bryant will steal some of the spotlight, and Jason Witten will see more red zone looks in 2010. Additionally, I think the Cowboys will and should pay more attention to their running game particularly Felix Jones who is miles better than Marion Barber.

World Cup Update

- Officiating has grabbed much of the headlines for the 2nd round of group matches. First there was the CRIMINAL disallowed goal against the Americans, the inexplicable 2nd yellow given to Kaka (although it's a moot point now that Brazil and Portugal have all but secured advancement in the Group of Death), and the terrible straight red given to the Swiss player today, costing them the match.

- As a soccer outsider, I've also got to say that the amount of flopping and diving is just flat out disgusting and embarrassing. The refs really need to be more diligent in giving cards to divers and floppers, because this epidemic is really turning me off from what has been a very exciting WC so far.

- LOL just LOL at France. As if their performance on the field wasn't embarrassing enough, now they've had one of their players dismissed, their trainer flat out walking out and quitting during practice, and the team walking out as well. Just an utter disgrace, typical Frenchies waving the white flag.

- Pretty disappointing play from the African nations so far, and the Ivory Coast disgraced themselves at the end of the Brazil match.

- Fantastic play from the American nations so far. Mexico has been the best team in Group A, the USA is a win away from advancement, and ALL 5 South American nations are in good shape to advance to the knockout stage. Only Honduras is out of the running, but still nice work for the Western Hemisphere.

- Despite a very disappointing first 2 games from Italy and England, not all is lost. They win and they're both moving on, and against their lesser opponents, I expect both clubs to win, move on, and use their momentum to make a run at the title.

- Some great games in round 2, and so much fun watching the cream rise to the top. Brazil, Spain, and Portugal were all amazing to watch, and if Spain moves on, their Round of 16 match against Brazil or Portugal should be EPIC!

- I'd be remiss not to mention the Denmark-Cameroon game which was zOMG exciting and entertaining, mostly because of terrible defending. "Who drew up the defensive game plan, Evil Knievel?"

- My Final 4 right now: Brazil, Argentina, the Netherlands, Italy (gutsy call right now, but I think they'll beat Slovakia handily, move on, and make a deep run at defending their title)

For Mikey P

the fantasy football website that I write for:

Early Vegas Lines

Another round of Vegas coming up this weekend. Hope to have some epic stories for you all when I come back.

- The moderator executes his wingman duties for Eric to perfection: 100%
- Eric wingmans it to perfection for the moderator: 2:1
- The moderator gets laid on his own: 4:1
- The moderator wakes up somewhere other than his room: 3:2
- The moderator has a + money gambling trip: 100%
- But still returns with $0 in his wallet: 100%
- I send out over 100 drunk texts to people in Vegas with me and those at home combined: 3:1
- I make over 100 drunk dials to those there and not there alike: 5:1
- I get thrown in the pool while fully clothed: 3:2
- The moderator dies of alcohol poisoning: 25:1
- The moderator dies of heat exhaustion, getting murdered in a drunk fight, or some other random reason: 150:1
- I get ridiculously lost: 100% certainty
- The moderator throws up: 4:1...didn't throw up at the last Vegas trip, and haven't done so in a long ass time

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Fantasy Football Offseason: Running Backs

My general fantasy strategy is to stockpile wide receivers and an elite quarterback early and then to grab a slew of running backs in the middle rounds, hoping that at least one or two of them will break out. Receivers and QB's are far less injury prone, and it's extremely important to get consistency out of those positions, hence my rationale for grabbing them as my studs. Now if I have the #1 overall pick, I'm obv. grabbing CJ but this is just a general philosophy.

Top Gun: Chris Johnson. The best skill position player in football and it's not even close. The top player from 2009 will repeat his performance in 2010. Johnson runs behind a solid offensive line, has speed for days, catches tons of balls, and has no more Lendale White to poach any possible goal-line carries from him.

Value Picks: LeSean McCoy and Beanie Wells. Both will be playing with new quarterbacks, and should see a significant increase in carries. McCoy figures to also be heavily involved in the passing game making him a sick PPR pick, and is the Eagles' only legitimate back. Both can probably be had at a 3rd round or late 2nd round price, making them both fantastic RB1's who can be had for a fringe RB2 price.

Bounceback Candidate: Brandon Jacobs. He's still got a couple more good years in him, nagging injuries to him and the offensive line derailed him in 2009, and while Bradshaw is more explosive, Jacobs will still see his fair share of touches, especially near the goal-line.

Breakout: Felix Jones. Put simply, he's the Cowboys' best back and it's not even close. While Marion Barber is still owed a shit ton of money, Jerry Jones really ought to feed Jones the rock and let him take over games.

Sleeper: Justin Forsett. Absolutely love this guy, he exploded every time he got an opportunity to play, but Julius Jones clearly had some sort of blackmail on ousted coach Jim Mora Jr. hurting Forsett's value. Under Pete Carroll where the best player will play, I expect Forsett to become the feature back ahead of Jones and Leon Washington.

Bust: Joseph Addai. Donald Brown is gonna become the Colts' primary back, and more importantly see the goal-line carries, thus killing Addai's value.

Go Fuck Yourself: Reggie Bush

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Fantasy Football Offseason: Quarterbacks

The Season's gonna be here before you know it, so here are some of my thoughts as training camp is approaching broken down by position.


Top Gun: Aaron Rodgers. He was the top fantasy QB in 2009, and that will remain the same in 2010. One of the more accurate passers in the league, Rodgers somehow managed to be productive and STAY Alive despite the Packers O-Line surrendering some 50+ sacks. With a healthy Chad Clifton and the addition of Brian Bulaga Rodgers will be a beast again in 2010. He still has studs Greg Jennings and Donald Driver to throw to, and the emerging Jermichael Finley at TE gives him a great 3rd option. I hate taking a QB early, but if you're gonna grab one, Rodgers is the guy.

Best Value Pick: Matt Schaub. All he did was lead the league in passing in 2009 despite a nonexistent running game, and sans tight end Owen Daniels to help him out. The Texans' offense WAS Matt Schaub to Andre Johnson. Expect a rebound year for Kevin Walter and Daniels. Schaub can be had a round or two later than the Mannings, Bradys, and Brees' but will be just as if not more productive.

Rebound Candidate: JAY CUTLER! Under new OC Mike Martz, Cutler will definitely improve upon his abysmal 2009 campaign. With a young but talented receiving corp, and someone to help keep his head screwed on straight, Cutler will be a top 8 fantasy QB at a very nice discounted price.

Sleeper: Joe Flacco and Matthew Stafford. Love Flacco's poise, and with the addition of Boldin, and Rice being a great pass-catcher this offense will be much more balanced. Stafford will have his bad games, but with Megatron, Pettigrew, and Co. I love his upside and is a QB2 that you must target.

Bust: Tom Brady. Welker's status for the beginning of the year is uncertain, the Pats as a whole are getting older, we started to see some character issues with Randy Moss last year. Most importantly, their division is a nightmare for passing games, facing Revis Island twice, the Fins who chew up clock with their running game and play great D, and the Bills whose pass defense is as good as their run defense is bad. All signs point towards a down year for Brady and New England.

World Cup

It's ridiculous how into this tournament I am getting. Great tie by the USA against England. Yea they got lucky on the goal, but sometimes you create your own luck. Howard played out of his mind, although I hated the settle for a tie mentality that they took throughout much of the 2nd half. 1 point was nice but 3 would have been monumental.

- Germany has looked the best of the powers so far, although Brazil is in a league of their own. North Korea did a great job of neutralizing their fire power, but they are clearly in a league of their own, and it's going to be very tough for anyone to beat them unless they beat themselves.

- Except possibly for Spain, who were upset in the tournament shocker by Switzerland. Still like their chances to beat Chile and Honduras and advance to the Round of 16.

- LOL France! No Goals in 2 games, and a team in total turmoil. Their defense against Mexico was atrocious, they basically handed Mexico 4-5 really good scoring chances, and Mexico took advantage. Definitely a team that should be feared.

- More talk later, I'm slowly learning and gaining an appreciation for this game. One thing that can't be denied is how tough these players are, as the beating they take in games is sick. Hoping for a USA win against Slovenia tomorrow, pretty much a must win game, else we'll need the Brits to lose at least one of their final 2 matches.

- My Final 4 right now: Brazil, Germany, Italy, Argentina

Ridiculously Awesome Youtube Video

I don't care if you don't like Family Guy or not, this is just so much epic win!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

The Worst Weekend of Baseball EVER!

- Angels sweep the Dodgers in embarrassing fashion, and I am unfortunate to be present for two of those losses.

- UCLA beats CSUF after beating UCI last week to advance to the College World Series. I swear if the Lakers win Game 7 I am going to fucking lose it! Sports just can't possibly be worse than they are right now.

- On the positive side, only 3 months until the NFL season starts. Chiefs Football and PuntingIsWinning going for the mother fucking 3 peat!


Doubt this guy is real! The Randy Johnson of this generation if he stays healthy, BOOK IT!

A Couple New Pickup Lines

- "Hey baby want to be the electron to my proton?" ... still trying to sort that one out, it's not quite right

- "Hey sexy, do you fall in love everytime you look in a mirror"

Friday, June 11, 2010

The 7th Inning Stretch

So the other day I was watching the Dodger game per usual, and it was 7th inning stretch time. I thought to myself, hmm...I kind of wish I had a chick with me, so we could do our own version of the 7th inning stretch. Ohh snap! Bazinga!

Don't Stop Believing

is pretty much the greatest song in the history of the world for many many ways. Well pretty much all of you can think of at least one reason why this song is so special to me, and trust me there are many different ways.

True Love

Alright, I know that many of the things that I have posted about lately have been teh UBER fucking ghey. My head has definitely not been on the right plane, and I was so ridiculously enraptured by that chick, at the expense of this blog and my sanity. Well, thanks to the advice of a good friend, I have erased her my life, so hopefully I can move on. As for all teh ghey things, I'm not going to apologize. No, I'm not a fag, but yes I do believe in true love, and all these homo-like changes in me, are just me realizing and becoming ready to find true love.

Fuck You Reggie Bush and Family!

That is all! Pretty sure I'm gonna root against the Saints the rest of my life just because of you and your selfishness! Hope your Heisman gets taken away from you and you tear your ACL and never play again! Once again, Go Fuck Yourself Sir!

Epic Weekend of Baseball

- Dodgers-Angels with both teams super en fuego. These series' are always tough, but the Dodgers always seem to find ways to lose against these guys. Here's to hoping that trend changes this weekend.

- CSUF-UCLA for the right to go to Omaha! Go Titans, beat those pasty blue faggots!