Random Remembrances from The River

By reader's request:

Night 1:
- Got there late, drank a lot of Coors Light, went to bed a little buzzed

Night 2:

- Finished building the float around 4 or 5pm. Went to Fox's and drank 4 Mai Tai's (it's the drink of choice there I guess so I went with the flow) in under an hour. We spotted a group of cute girls, and wanted to get them on the stripper pole. After a couple minutes of arguing over who should start it off, I manned up. I motioned to said hawt chicks to join me but they did not oblige. Some random chick did, we danced for a minute until her b/f showed up. I tried to peace out, but he encouraged me to keep going, I got some high fives and then everyone else followed my lead.

- Things start getting very fuzzy after this. Apparently I walked/charged right into a sliding glass door, resulting in both of my legs being in massive pain for the next week.

- I remember eating a hot dog at some point.

- I remember Rick, Natalie, and Jeff arriving, and me talking some retarded bullshit to them about Lord knows what.

- I remember going to Paradise (a bar), drinking something called a "River Water" and then the lights completely go out.

Day 3:

- THE FLOAT DAY was truly legendary. Eric and I spent the whole morning of hungover as fuck, and we each puked, after shots of Jager which btw I'm never voluntarily drinking again.

- Tons of chicks flashed us thanks to Ryan and his insane amount of shit that he got from Jager, as well as Hillary for being the biggest perv of all of us, and continually chiding chicks to show us their tits! THANKS WOMAN!

- Then, thanks to my fucking boy Ricky G from the I.E., we encountered a group of chicks who wanted shots of Jager. After some negotiations, Rick steps up and tells them that they all get shots if I get to motorboat one of them. One chick (solid B cups and kinda cute like I'd hit it of course but not a model or anything) agrees. I motorboat her tits, her ass, and get to spank her (she had a very nice ass btw def. her best quality).

All in all, awesome weekend, special thanks to Sam Dow, Ryan, Hillary, and Rick.