Well it's still kind of the holiday season, so I'm going to say something nice about all of my subscribers, in the reverse order in which you subscribed. Regardless of what I say here, just know that I love you all, even if you weren't a subscriber, as each of you have all had a significant impact on my life.
Jeff: Dude man LONG time no see brother. We must change that, how are the drums going these days? No homo, but everytime I hear Jack's Mannequin, I think about you. Alright that's pretty homo, yea go fuck yourself everybody!
Erika: So so happy for you and Jose. I wish you guys a lifetime of happiness together, and to be honest, you should really have a blog of your own for the rest of us to enjoy, something a little less misogynistic.
Chris: Doubt there's a better sports mind on here than you. While I very frequently disagree with your opinions, particularly in regards to your opinions regarding the Colts' pursuit of perfection, I still respect your opinions and ideas. Sorry I've been so MIA regarding college football this season, or we'd have more to talk about.
Ahron: You sir are the younger brother that I never had. We give each other a bunch of shit, but you're still the man, and I respect the fact that you challenge my beliefs and opinions every step of the way, so that I don't get any sense of invincibility. I wish you got more into the NFL, but your growing allegiance to Dodger Blue has definitely been a nice development.
Ann "Mom": Thank you again for inviting and having me for Christmas Eve Dinner. Your meal was fanstastic, and our little gift exchange was the LOL super awesome laugh of the decade. You have done the best job any parent ever could do in raising Super Homo, but inevitably, some people are simply beyond all repair. Dude if you're reading this, seriously bro, how are you not a fucking subscriber? Don't give me that I couldn't figure out how bullshit, because your fiancee and mom somehow figured out how to.
Hillary: WOMAN!!! You are super awesome, and have been one of my best friends for as long as I have know you. I thank you for being so cool to me even when at many times I've been a super douche, and I promise that I will always have your back. "Just Kidding" and honking my horn in tunnels have become a part of my repertoire because of you, <3 you WOMAN!
Heather: Sigh this is going to be difficult X 1904329904 to write. Ok well Woman, despite all the shit that I give you, you really are super awesome, and even though I am still convinced, no 100% sure that you are marrying a ghey, if Super Homo is indeed is straight, he *moderator cringes in massive pain* couldn't do better. Yea yea you're awesome Woman, stop flattering yourself and go back to eating your salad.
Ryan: You sir are my brother, and have been for the past 10 years. We've been through a lot of shit together, but we've been better for it sir. New Year's Eve should be fucking awesome, but dude you better be a fucking good wingman, even though Hillary will be there. I don't give a fuck, the moderator needs you and Woman's assistance in getting laid.
Big Juan: Dude you're the older brother that I never had. You've always been there for me fucking cabron. Like me, you need to not drink so much, but ehh who the fuck cares, just don't fuck shit up with your kids, and you're all good brother. Hope those fucking cabron Dodgers don't fuck us in the ass again this season.
Mrs. Owen: To my first and most loyal subscriber, what can I possibly say? From the bottom of my heart, thank you for your loyal readership, and constant support of my blog. It really does mean a lot to me, and to be honest your subscribing has helped keep me in line to a certain extent. Thank you very much, my super homo friend is lucky to have you as an in-law, and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE X 9842848902809 be sure to give him a VERY VERY VERY hard time, because his super homo ass certainly deserves it.