Friday, December 4, 2009

Some New Man Laws

- NEVER EVER under any circumstances pour any booze back into the bottle

- If you open a beer, for fuck's sake FINISH IT!

- If a hot chick wearing a tank top/other skimpy attire goes running by you while you driving, it is perfectly acceptable to slow down to check her out. If you get in an accident, so be it, she's still fucking HAWT!

- Don't cheat on your Woman, but if you do, for the love of God at least cheat on her with someone who's hotter than her. Cheating on her with an ugly skanktron is not only the ultimate slap in the face, but just ra tarded on your part.

- When it's cold outside, it is NEVER acceptable for you to be wearing more layers than your WOMAN. You're a fucking man, you're not supposed to get cold, and you are certainly not supposed to be colder than your chick.

- If you go to Starbucks, don't order in the "whatever the fuck they're words for small, medium, and large are", I don't know because I hate coffee. Just order a small, a medium, or a large, and if they give you shit about it, or try and be a smart ass: (a) male: one swift kick to the nuts, tell him to go fuck himself, and walk out (b) female: ehh just leave. I will never condone being rude or disrespectful to the fairer sex, except in extraneous circumstances.

- The only acceptable beverages used to chase down a shot, are (1) another shot (2) a beer

- You must have definitive opinions on the following subjects:
The DH: I'm very much opposed to this rule that has helped pussify America
The NFL overtime rules: they should change to the college OT rules
Blondes or Brunettes: One night stand= blondes; serious relationship= brunettes

1 comment:

  1. DH has allowed some of the best hitters and pitchers of all time to extend their careers! GFY national league

    Agree on NFL OT

    Blonde v Brunette: Either or Both doesnt matter