All this wedding stuff, got me thinking about my own potential and well lets face it probably 100% hypothetical wedding. Before you say: holy fuck this guy is out of his fucking mind, take a minute to contemplate how truly fucking this awesome idea is, at least from the standpoint of someone who's life basically is Dodger baseball. Also note: any and all of you are 100% free to steal this idea from me.
If you know or are a single female between the ages of 21-30, who is a 6 or higher on the 1-10 scale, and who is at least a 3 tool woman (read my 5 tool woman post), who would not only be down for this idea, but loves it as much as I do, please make the proper introductions IMMEDIATELY, for said female enters Carrie Underwood insta marry territory.
The Venue: Dodger Stadium
The Date/Time: Sunset on a perfect summer's afternoon (when our Dodgers are on the road of course) so we can have the reception under the lights.
The Guests: Would be seated in chairs on the infield grass
The Officiant: Ideally would be Vin Scully himself, but the backup plan would be to have Brian Parrelli ordained as the officiant to perform in the impersonation that started it all: Mr. Scully.
The Groomsmen: There would be 7 of them, each would be assigned a "position", and would be announced by the officiant, at which time they run out of the dugout to a walk up song of their choice, and take their place along the baseline. As much as I love tuxing/suiting up, in lieu of said dress, each would wear an authentic jersey of their favorite team, making this an "All Star Game" so to speak, with their name and number on the back. Perfect excuse to get that authentic jersey you've always wanted to get but "shouldn't get".
The Best Man and Groom: Will be in the Dodger bullpen, warming up, I think I might even take a baseball and gloves so we'll literally be warming up + that would help keep me calm and collected. The Best Man runs in to a walk up song of his choice, with the shin guards on and all. The Groom then enters to a walk up song of his choice (I'm leaning towards "Thunderstruck" with "Sexy Back" being in 2nd at the moment).
The Bridesmaids: are then announced, wearing whatever the fuck they want (I'm sure as fuck not telling a group of girls what to wear), and can line up however they want.
The Bride: Then comes in down the red carpet, from the centerfield gates, walking 395 feet down the middle of the field to home plate, where myself and the bridal party will be awaiting.
The Ceremony: Will be kept classy and super standard, although by this point I'm sure most of the 40+ crowd will be out of there or booing us.
The Reception: Will be on the field under the lights. The only thing that I ask, is that if you are not driving, that your BAC never drop below twice the legal limit. Keep the drinks flowing, and dance the fucking night away.
Closing Thoughts: We all know that this is so ridiculous that it's laughable. We all know that if I do find that special girl, that I'm going to be so incredibly whipped, and that when it comes to the wedding, I'm going to do whatever the fuck she tells me to do. LOL have fun putting the stamps on the invitations future marc1313 (I'm embarrassed and ashamed of you, but at least you're getting some), because that's about the most complicated task you will be assigned.