Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Good Stripper/Bad Stripper

So for those of you who are not too familiar with the innerworkings strip clubs, I'm going to give you a brief tutorial on the difference between good strippers (honest ones who will give you good dances) and bad strippers (those who will give you air dances/upsell you/flat out con and ROB you). Now while there are going to be occasional exceptions, these rules are almost always true.

- are actually nice to you, they compliment you, and will generally try and make some conversation before getting down to business
- are sensual rather than overtly sexual when they initially approach you.
- never ask for tips but act flattered and say how nice you are when you give her one
- give great stage dances and exude a lot of energy in them
- realize that this is a business. if they are honest, sweet, and show you a good time, you will remember them the next time you come. they don't try to hustle you out of a lot of money right then and there, going for the long-term profit route instead.
- Act like they legitimately care about you
- NEVER try and upsell you (example of upselling: you've already paid for a $20 dance and she says something like "if you give me another 20, you can do this or that") MEN and Bisexual/Lesbian women: NEVER EVER EVER fall for this trap! She will con and con you until you have nothing left, trust me! No matter how hot she is, the moment she tries to upsell you, just enjoy the dance and then never get one from her again, there are plenty other fish in the sea.

- are often rude, and will make bitter and snarky comments if you don't get a dance from them. they will say shit like: "ohh you can get a dance from her, but not from me"
- will fucking steal your glasses when you've turned her down for a dance (if you can believe it this fucking shit actually happened to me. i was in disbelief as she disappeared for like 5 minutes. i didn't want to start a shitstorm, so i waited for a few minutes unable to see shit mind you, and was getting up to go raise hell with the manager when she finally returned them).
- almost always are the trashiest and most unkempt looking ones who you wouldn't want to get a dance from anyways. not trashy as in ugly, but trashy as in she clearly has a drug and/or alcohol problem, and this is the only job she knows that can support said habit
- put no energy into their stage dances
- Ask for if not demand tips. Bad strippers really have a sort of entitlement fell to them, whereas good strippers put in the effort and in turn get my $$$
- Think of this in the immediate sense: they just want to get as much money from you as possible, and could care less about repeat customers. They upsell you to death and treat you like a piece of shit, which quite frankly we kind of are, but still don't give these chicks your money. Blow it on the ones who at least put some effort into their work and are at least good enough actresses to pretend that they give a shit about you for however long your dance is.

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