(5) Our Politicians. LOL Just Kidding, they're a bunch of criminals who should be put on a plane and dropped down in the middle of Afghanistan. Let's try and see them bullshit, lie, and steal their way out of that one.
(The Real #5) Food: Because we are such a wonderfully diverse culture, we get to experience and enjoy cuisine of any and every culture on the planet, and Americans have definitely come up with some fine foods of their own.
(4) Our Military: Because they don't lose. Sure we've had a few draws, but considering the fact that our opponents usually have home field advantage, our record is quite impressive, and the brave men and women who have served this country past, present, and future, have not let us down. Technological advances have certainly helped our cause, but when the world has needed help, America is who they turn to.
(3) For the past 200+ years, people have risked their lives, and everything that they had, in leaving their shithole countries to come to the land of opportunity, and create a better life for themselves and their posterity.
(2) Sports: AMERICAN football, baseball, basketball, hockey, golf, the list goes on and on, but we have the best sports, and the best athletes in the world. ALL time Olympic Medal Count: USA-2514 Nearest Competitor 1204. The rest of the world can have soccer, ha lol soccer, but American sports and American athletes prefer to play real sports, that you know are actually entertaining, and not a bunch of primadonnas flopping around the field.
(1) We have the hottest women on the planet. While there's something hot about chicks with British or Brazilian accents, nothing tops American women. They're ancestors come from every country, and every ethnic group on the planet, but when they come here, they just somehow get hotter.