Saturday, November 21, 2009

A Movie Review: "New Moon"

- I feel like I moved 45 points up on the ghey scale for watching this
- I did owe the girls for dropping the ball on my last movie selection, so I guess I was forced to see this in a way
- Umm for the record I was also conned into seeing this film under the assumption that it was "not that ghey" and that there would be a lot of action: both of which could not be further from the truth
- tons of mushy gushy romantic shit
- even more emo slit my wrists shit...I mean come on stop crying already, and stop threatening to kill yourself, get back out there and go get some strange ffs.
- very very VERY annoying chicks sitting behind us
- ummm alright I mean it's bad enough that there are half naked guys throughout the whole movie, but where are the MOTHER FUCKING TITS! I mean I don't mean to sound crass, but that was absolutely ridiculous. Some of the secondary female characters were pretty hot, and we can't even get some cleavage, while 99% of the scenes featured half naked guys. This movie was seriously like the female version of Showgirls, and my eyes are still bleeding.
- Females: MUST SEE IMMEDIATELY! Take all your girlfriends and sit and giggle the whole movie I don't give a fuck.
- Males: DON'T SEE EVER IN TEN MILLION YEARS, no matter what your g/f threatens you with. If she says no sex until you watch it, then cruise on down to the Spearmint Rhino. I'll be there too, because I need to do like 10 million straight things to undo the gheyness of watching that film.

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