Monday, November 16, 2009

Top 5 Christmas Gifts for Women Under $100

There's like a 100% chance that at least one of these gifts will unbeknownst to me cost over $100, but ehh I have no girlfriend, so that's not my concern.

#5- A gift card to Souplantation. Every woman, even the ones that weigh under 100lbs. seem to think that they're obese pigs, so why not set them on the right track?
#4- A mixed tape. Well it seems to work in all those romantic comedies and sitcoms, so I imagine that it works in real life as well. Just make sure to double check before starting. You don't want to be rewriting over the disk that holds an epic sporting event, or one of your favorite movies, and you (THIS PART WAS edited because well yea moving on) Cliffs Notes: DON'T FUCK UP!
#3- All that cosmetic shit.
#2- Gift cards to any sort of shopping place. Just gives them an excuse to go to the mall, and hey you win too, because you'll have a few hours of free time, well unless they're the type that makes you go with them, in which case DO NOT DO! Find another gift, unless cinnabons and the Nordstrom's piano guy are enough of a distraction to take your mind off of the pain.
#1- Any and I mean any kind of jewelry. From my experiences, jewelry to women is like the television on NFL Sundays to men. Throw some of it at them, and they're going to be happy, show it off to everybody, and just get all crazy excited, although I have no idea why. It's just a piece of plastic.

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