Monday, January 25, 2010

Female Power Rankings January 2010 Edition

1. Carrie Underwood: The perfect woman! Looks, beauty, talent, obviously likes sports, has that bubbly cute personality, well-spoken, just the complete package. I'm no ashamed to admit that when I'm feeling a bit down I watch her music videos, and insta feel better. <3 <3 <3 HER X 318908489.

2. Kaley Cuoco: From "8 Simple Rules" and "The Big Bang Theory" this super hawt neighbor of a bunch of nerds gives all us super losers hope that we can score a 10 someday. In addition to being super hawt, she actually isn't that bad of an actress either. Her and Sheldon are absolutely perfect in every single one of their scenes together. In addition to the dialogue, all of their non-verbal communication is executed to perfection between these two rivals/friends. Note: the moderator EPIC FUCKING FAILED by failing to include her in the original power rankings.

3. Autumn Reeser: Taylor from the OC. Not as famous as these other women, but she will forever be an exception. Watched the OC JUST for her, and she actually might have trumped Kelly Kapowski as all time hottest TV character. Just all kinds of sexiness, and still maintains the #3 spot, even though I haven't seen her in anything for quite some time now. Her Maxim photoshoot is the definition of the word HAWT!

4. Isla Fisher: While the age old question has always been blondes or brunettes, everything else being equal, I'll take redheads any day. She brings such a vibrant perkiness to every movie she's in, and if you've ever seen her in interviews or on late night shows, her accent is to fucking die for.

5. Eva Longoria: Tony Parker, you look and act like a little fucktard faggot, but you must be doing something right to snag this super hawt piece of ass.

6. Megan Fox: Always going to be the most controversial name of any list, with half the people swearing she's the hottest thing since the invention of the oven, and the other half swearing she's trailer park trash. She's dropped a little bit on my list because she doesn't always look super hawt, but still if you've seen either of the Transformers movies and don't include her on a top 10 list, then you sir are teh ghey!

7. Jessica Alba: The hottest of the Jessica's imo, she isn't the greatest actress in the world, but who the fuck cares as long as she looks good doing it.

8. Hayden Panetierre: Alright she's 20 now, so I think she's old enough for me not to come off as too creepy when I say that hot damn she's fucking hawt. Give her a few more years, and she could very easily move up to the #2 slot.

9. Jenna Fischer: Ridiculously underrated. The ultimate girl next door who you still have no chance in hell with.

10. Salma Hayek: Everytime I hear she's over 40, I just sit in complete bewilderment. Unfuckingbelievably smoking hot body, even at her age, and her snake dance in "From Dusk Till Dawn" is top 3 all time sexiest non-porno movie scenes.

Honorable Mention: 20th century Jamie Lee Curtis. She's too old for my tastes now, but hot damn she was THE class of the late 70's/early 80's, and gave the "performance" of a lifetime in "True Lies". Honestly can't remember jack diddly poo about that movie except that one scene.

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