Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Ranking the Amusement Parks

Disneyland vs. Knotts Berry Farm vs. Six Flags Magic Mountain

- The Happiest Place on Earth
- Two parks instead of one
- Don't know if they still have it, but I <3d the Electrical Parade when I was a little kid
- TONS TONS TONS of annoying as fuck little kids...where the SI Theory was invented, and it is definitely an orange, borderline red zone
- I don't care what anybody says, the Small World song is awesome. Would go on that ride multiple times in one day.
- Holy Fuck the Snow White ride is the scariest fucking ride in North America. I've gone on virtually every type of roller coaster, and never so much as flinched, but the Snow White ride just terrified the beejesus out of me. I still see that witch in my head.
- They also have Downtown Disney with ESPN Zone
- Perfect to take a girl, seriously P-E-R-F-E-C-T

Knotts Berry Farm
- Ghostrider is probably my 2nd favorite ride ever behind X
- Plenty of good coasters, and I always get nostalgic when I ride on Montezooma's (1st roller coaster I ever went on). FML for being so insanely short and not meeting height requirements until I was like 10.
- The Mother Fucking Chicken AND the biscuits. Phenomenal.
- The Carrie Underwood of funnel cake is served there
- Perilous Plunge. A word to the wise: Going on that ride at 10 at night is not a particularly good idea.
- Lots of douchebag middle school and high school kids
- Frequent ride breakdowns at least when I've gone
- Definitely NOT romantic, and there isn't a ton of "fun stuff" to do

Six Flags Magic Mountain
- The Taj Mahal for roller coaster enthusiasts
- X is just the sickest experience you can imagine. Don't think, just let enjoy the fucking ride.
- Tons of gangbangers and flat out douchewads
- In the summers, its fucking hotter than Megan Fox in Transformers
- The Tidal Wave ride, and standing on the bridge= sweet relief
- Every different type of coaster you can imagine, and they're always cranking out more
- Plenty of games and other stuff to do. I don't care how old you get, bumper cars never cease to be fun and awesome.

Final Rankings:
Guys Day Out: Six Flags > Knotts > Disneyland
Girls Day Out: Disneyland Only!
Guys and Girls: Disneyland > Six Flags > Knotts

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