- If you liked or recommended any of the "Twilight" movies, just fucking turn your mancard in right now, because you are either (a) beyond all fucking assistance or (b) the most disgusting pathetic type of traitor imaginable
- Being passed out drunk/hungover, deceased, or currently banging some hawt chick are the only legitimate excuses to miss a game of baseball or football
- Losing to a woman is acceptable, having your soul owned and destroyed by a woman is NOT acceptable.
- Getting married for reasons other than imminent pregnancy or that the female's name is Carrie Underwood is NEVER ACCEPTABLE!
- Watching Carrie Underwood music videos at 3am in the morning, and insta falling in love, is perfectly acceptable.
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