Thursday, March 11, 2010

The Moderator's Likeliest Causes of Death

Might I just state again for the record, that if I die, (a) If one Mr. Paul Michael Smith aka Super Homo aka Mrs. Heather Owen is still alive, that he/she is to receive $1,000 from either my Poker Stars account, or savings account as payment for winning our last longer bet (b) I fucking love you all (c) Instead of having some mushy gushy bullshit funeral where everybody says a bunch of "nice" bullshit about me that they don't really believe, I want my funeral to be one major insane crazy massive party, where everybody gets insane crazy fucking drunk. Seriously, cabs and limos only, because none of you fuckers better be driving home. Keep the BAC above 0.25 at all times please.

#5- HIV/AIDS as a result of engaging in intercourse with chicks who may have been a little bit too morally be honest, this would be the coolest way to go out, because before i die, i guarantee that i will hook up with every hawt chick with said disease in the Southern California region
#4- Victim of 2nd degree murder as a result of defending one of the H's from some douchebag fucktard.
#3- Heart Failure as a result of preexisting conditions + having the worst diet known to mankind and/or a refusal to exercise, or do anything resembling a healthy lifestyle
#2- Freak Accident...umm yea the moderator is kind of accident prone in case you haven't noticed, and his Asian Driving is getting worse and worse by the day
#1- Alcohol explanation needed i hope

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