THE LIST!!!!

Alright, here is the list of women whom even if they told me that they had the HIV Virus/some other major STD, AND that this would be the only occasion in which I would be able to hook up with them, I would still "hook up" with them. Please note: it's not like I have a death wish, but I would put my life expectancy at 10-15 more years max at this point to be honest, Magic has lived with teh AIDS for almost 20 years, and I'm a mother fucking fighter, so honestly, even if I got AIDS tomorrow, I would still expect to die of something other than that: like my fucking heart condition, my lack of spleen, complete obliberation of my liver through the consumption of advil and alcohol, and/or heart disease as a result of insanely unhealthy appetite + refusal to exercise under any circumstances whatsoever.

- Carrie Underwood
- Kaley Cuoco (Penny)
- A certain "super hot friend"
- Isla Fisher
- Megan Fox