When in the course of human events, man has endured a long line of trespasses and impositions upon his free will, he has sought to overturn the source of such violations of his basic freedoms, and overthrow the tyranny that had previously forced their will upon them. Here, today, men are waging a new battle, a new struggle, and losing it very badly. This battle is not being waged on some distant battlefield, debated in a courthouse, or argued in a session of Congress. This battle is being fought in every home, every apartment, every dive bar, and every shopping mall in America. The enemy: The female gender.
I have watched women destroy the wills and livelihood of men for far too long, and on this glorious day, Wednesday, the 16th of December, in the year of our Lord 2009, I am hereby declaring myself, and any man who chooses to join me, FREE from the tyranny of women. WE MEN do not advocate violence against women UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, and those who choose that route shall be summarily disposed of. However, we do advocate a nonviolent resistance against the tyranny of WOMEN, and demand to be treated as equals in all locals, both public and private.
WOMEN, here are our list of demands, and until they are met: we will not hold your purses, we will not take you shopping, we will not do any of the girly faggot stuff that you want to do, we will not listen just because you want us to listen, and we will NOT be your slaves, getting down on our hands and needs to meet your every request.
- We want to be treated as equal partners in ALL relationships, and allowed equal say in all decisions, no matter how trivial.
- We want to be allowed to "WIN" an argument every now and then, without there being any lasting negative consequences
- Monday-Saturday the TV is yours, but on Sundays, leave us alone with our pizza, beer, and football, and STOP nagging us or telling us what to do.
- You do NOT look fat. STOP asking.
- DO NOT humiliate us in public or in front of our friends. You wouldn't like it if we did that to you.
- Yes we were checking out that hot chick. She's hawt, and we're guys, that's just the way things are. Unless you marry a ghey, that's just something you're going to have to deal with. Like you never check out other guys? Get over it, it's just looking, we're not going to do anything about it, well unless our name is Tiger Woods. zing. lol lame overused jokes FTW!
- Stop telling us everything we're doing wrong. We know that what we're doing is wrong, but we just don't care, and you bugging us isn't going to change either of those things.
My fellow men, this is your call to arms. Fight the power, fight for your rights, and ffs stand up for yourself brothers! The longer we cater to women's demands, and allow this train of abuses to continue, the worse things are going to get for you, and if you don't care about yourself, think about your sons, and grandsons, and the pain and suffering that they will have to endure, because you weren't fucking man enough to do something about it when you had the chance. Join the good fight my brothers, this fight may take years, and sex may be withheld for the duration of that war, but good news, strip clubs are open until 3-4 am in the morning. Sign on the dotted line, for every great change had to start somewhere, and this one begins here and now.
- Marc James Tokushige