Sunday, April 3, 2011

The Death of 3 Phones: An American Sad Story

So for those of you who don't know me well, or who have never read this blog before, I like to drink, like a LOT! When I drink, I tend to go insane fucking crazy and do ridiculously hilarious and/or obnoxious shit! Anyways, this weekend for the 3rd fucking time in the last few years I managed to destroy a phone while insanely intoxicated, so thought I'd share these experiences with you all.

1st Time: Aww I popped my phone destroying cherry in the most awesome and epic way possible. So myself and a bunch of friends are on Hillary's boat. BTW Woman! we gotta make it out there again soon! We're all drinking and the bathroom is out of order for reasons I can't remember at this time, so I piss in my beer bottle. I go on the edge to pour it out, and somehow manage to fall through the life rails and overboard. Wallet soaking wet but not lost luckily, phone, medical chain, and something else at the bottom of the ocean, and sandals floating away. Brian saves the sandals while the others work to get me back on the boat (I cant swim well). And the kicker: we were fucking docked, as in not moving and my drunk ass manages to do this shit!

2nd time: We're all partying in Downtown Fullerton for my speleeniversary and I am beyond gone! We try and gain entrance into a cougar bar, and I am denied entrance. I try like 3 more times to get in, but the nazis didnt want to take my money, and I would have dropped a lot of cash the state i was in. Jose is sober enough to drive me home, but I'm so pissed I take my phone and throw it as hard as I can to the ground. It ends up in the curb by a drainage ditch, so water + the slam= BROKEN!

3rd Time= This weekend in San Francisco we all get back from a night of very heavy drinking at least by me. I guess I place my phone on the nightstand and there is water there. so a lot of water on the table + my phone= OMG 4th new phone as a result of drunken stupidity! Luckily it only cost $10 so I'm still a happy panda.

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