Thursday, January 31, 2013

Interventions

So the topic of me needing an intervention has arose recently.  The problem is from what?  Gambling/Poker?  Drinking?  Strip Clubs?  All 3?  Lets take a look at what will happen if...

I stop Gambling--> I will not have strip club finances, ergo I will drink 100x more, and become a full-blown alcoholic

I stop Drinking--> I will be 100x less fun to be around, will be 100x worse at talking to women, get depressed and emo, and eventually go on a 2 week insane crazy bender that will probably result in my death.  Better to keep at my steady only borderline alcoholic pace.

I Quit Strip Clubs--> Ok that's just not an option.  The only way this is happening is if I am in a relationship, so if you want me to quit strippers you better find me a woman who is as slutty/freaky as strippers.

I Quit All 3--> The only reason this happens is I am lol married to some religious prude chick who is anti-alcohol in which case I might as well be dead, so just put a bullet in my brain.

BOTTOM LINE: Being a degenerate gambler who makes money doing so, strip club addict, and borderline alcoholic is good for me, because I maintain a proper balance, never venturing too obsesssively into any one degen activity, ergo keeping me alive.

So if you think I need an intervention, you actually want me to die.  Why do you want me to die?


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